Chapter Two - Pompoms and Trophies

EPOV

We had spent the rest of the afternoon wordlessly exploring each other’s bodies and working towards the goal I’d uttered in my post coital bliss. We’d christened almost every surface in my home and plowed our way through a whole box of condoms. The foil wrappers now strewn around the apartment like little shiny trophies.

I had been half serious when I suggested the need to go for it 572 times more. I had been completely serious with the thought of making sure this, whatever this was, continued with Bella.

With this beautiful woman now sleeping peacefully beside me.

I could feel her shallow breath on my neck, the rise and fall of her chest against my side. Her hair spread across my shoulder, falling haphazardly onto the pillow. A slice of afternoon sun streaming in through the blinds in the window and across her hair forced a thousand shades of brown to radiate.

Since when did I count the shades in a person’s hair?

She truly was beautiful.

The gentle slope of her hips as they disappeared under the dark sheets, the contrast of her pale skin against the bedding. Her tiny hand resting gently below my stomach where she’d been softly twirling the hair there in her fingertips before she’d fallen asleep. The indentations above her collar bones were only hours before I’d laid a million kisses and minute bites as I’d felt her hands wandering over my body.

Every inch of what lay beside me was undeniably striking.

There was certainly an immense physical attraction. We’re stating the obvious with that. We’d known each other for no more than eight hours and here she was sleeping so peacefully in my bed, and it felt so right.

Nothing had ever felt this right.

Even with this perfect scene playing out around me the ‘oh shit’ factor was settling into my stomach. The ‘what next’ question running laps in my head.

What do I say to her once she awakens? Would the awkward silences commence? Will Eddie Jr. still feel the need to perform? Will he get that chance?

We’d barely spoken except for a few short snippets but none had been awkward. I wanted anything but awkward, but knew deep down it was inevitable.

As I lay listening to her sleep I ran through a hundred scenarios of what could, or more to the point, what should happen once she awoke. Just as I began rehearsing lines in my head for scenario number one hundred and one I felt her stir at my side.

Bella slowly opened her eyes, raising her head a fraction from my chest to take in her surroundings. She quickly closed her eyes once more and rolled onto her back, her head slamming onto the pillow next to mine.

“Shit” she murmured, so quietly I barely heard her.

I immediately felt the loss of her skin against mine, but not wanting to freak her out any more than she obviously was, I stayed still, staring at her profile.

Without re-opening her eyes she spoke in a quiet whisper, “Hi, so… erm, is this gonna be weird? Should I just sneak out? Stay for coffee? Dinner? Oh, God, I can’t believe I’m in this predicament. You have to understand, this is not something I…”

“Bella, shhh. It’s OK. This doesn’t have to be weird. And I know, this is not something I do either. You can open your eyes though. Please?”

She turned her head slowly towards me and opened her right eye, cautiously peeping out at me through her long dark lashes. A small giggle left her as she opened her other eye and took in the sight before her.

“I’m sorry," she laughed, “but your hair, I mean, it’s…”

“You’re talking about my hair?”

“Um, yeah, I guess I am.” She replied, the amusement still in her voice.

“So, I guess if my hair breaks the awkwardness of the moment, that’s a good thing? What’s so funny about it anyway?”

“Oh, nothing it’s just stuck up every which way, it was so perfect a few hours ago. I would have almost described it as a bit bouffanty actually.” As she spoke she rolled onto her side and reached over, attempting to smooth the unruly mass residing on my head. A task I knew to be impossible without copious amounts of hair products.

This was not one of the one hundred and one scenarios I’d had circulating through my head, but I certainly liked this one so far.

My eyes were instantly drawn to her breasts as she rolled towards me, gently smushing them together giving her the illusion of being more endowed than she actually was. Add in to the equation the feeling of her hand in my hair and the lust was boiling back up to the surface. Fast.

Without realizing it my hand had moved to touch her breast, the soft mound fitting perfectly into my palm. I rolled towards her and softly pulled her in to meet my lips.

I placed a small kiss, then another and another on her inviting lips. The feeling of her whole body pressed against mine sent chills throughout me and welcomed goose bumps to spread rapidly across my skin.

Tentatively, I pushed the tip of my tongue against her mouth, requesting entry. My whole body celebrating when she once again allowed me in. Our tongues danced intimately together, swirling and exploring against each other.

My hands roamed the gentle curves of her body, almost forcefully pulling her closer to me. Her hands tangled in the hair at the nape of my neck and roamed feverishly over my back and shoulders.

Eddie Jr. stood to attention, anticipating our next move, pressing against her belly waiting anxiously for his turn.

Then as quickly as it had turned to the hottest of hot, it turned to ice. Her body tensed as she pushed away from my embrace.

Before I could even register what was happening I found myself staring at Bella’s back as she sat on the edge of the bed with the sheets wrapped tightly around her.

“I, um, I can’t do this” she whispered, almost too softly for me to hear.

“Do what, what can’t you do Bella?” my voice sounded desperate as I willed for this to not be happening right now.

“This Edward, I can’t do this.” She said as she waved her hand around the mess that was the sexed up room. “I can’t spend the day having meaningless sex with a guy I just met and just be okay with that. I can’t do it. I honestly don’t know why I came here.”

Meaningless sex?

“Where is this coming from, what’s this sudden change of heart?” I rambled, words just falling out of my mouth. “Stay, please stay, let’s talk about this.”

Bella stood silently, gathering her clothes that had been strewn around the bedroom in our haste earlier. She walked over to the bathroom, still wrapped in the sheet and gave me a sad smile as she closed the door behind her.

What the fuck just happened?

Eddie Jr. was not pleased. He’d been semi hard getting ready for another round before this turn of events.

But more than the disappointment now dangling between my legs, my whole being felt lost and devastated. She can’t leave. I cannot let her go.

But kidnapping… yeah, that doesn’t seem right. Does it? For a split second it seemed like the only way.

Damn it, of course it’s wrong. Jeez Cullen, are you seriously even contemplating that?

Jumping up I threw on some jeans and an old white t-shirt and left the bedroom to give Bella some privacy.

Flopping down on the couch I closed my eyes and lay my head back listening to her move around in the next room. Knowing that I couldn’t lose her as quickly as I’d found her I resolved to at least get her number, e-mail, last name, something. We can start again, start fresh. Do this the ‘right’ way if that’s what she needs. I had to try something. I’d find what the ‘right’ way needs to be.

This pleased Eddie Jr. Hope was not lost for him.

A few moments later she walked out towards me looking shy and regretful. I didn’t want her to regret anything.

What had happened today was pure physical attraction on both parts, but I felt the deeper connection too. And I know she did. I saw the look in her eyes when, cheesy at it sounds, sparks flew when we had first touched on the train. I know she felt it too.

I stood from the couch and walked slowly towards her.

“Bella” I started with confidence, “I don’t know what happened in there just now. I do know that I don’t want to…”

“Edward, please… don’t.”

“No, please. Let me finish. I do know that I don’t want you to walk out that door and then I never see you again. I do know that I’ll do whatever it takes, whatever you need, to give this, to give us a chance.” I finished with less confidence and sounded more like I was begging.

In all truth I was. If I needed to beg, then so be it.

I hung my head, my hair falling down across my eyes and waited for a response.

After what seemed like an eternity, she finally spoke. “Edward, I need to think this over. I need to figure this out. Give me a week or something, just let me have some time. Please?”

She took the final few steps towards me, pressed a scrap of paper into my hand and reached up on her toes to place a small feather light kiss on my chin. With that, she gathered her jacket and bag, and walked out my front door.

I instinctively reached up and placed my fingertips on my chin as I watched her leave. The buzz was still there, the last place she’d touched me.

The door closed and I turned the paper over in my hand.

The messiest handwriting I’d ever seen simply stated her full name and a number. It was better than nothing, I could accept that, but why did I feel so empty?

The next week was painful.

I quickly recovered from my ‘sickness’ and went back to work the next day. Unfortunately work did nothing to keep my mind off Bella. My mind being on Bella did nothing for the almost constant hard on I was now sporting.

Half naked women with beautiful bodies would pass me at the gym and nothing, just like those 572 days. A one half second thought of Bella and the pressure in my pants was excruciating. It seemed Eddie Jr. had a one track mind… Bella.

So the week was painful in my pants, but it was also painful in the gaping loss I felt.

How was this normal? Is this what love was? Or was this lust? I know I had loved Rosalie once, but I don’t remember feelings and emotions like this being involved. Not even close. Had I ever really loved Rosalie? I began to question that.

But more so I questioned over and over again what was happening to me in regards to Bella. I had never felt so alone. Even in the days following my surprise entertainment courtesy of Emmett and Rosalie I’d felt better – and that event had dissolved my marriage.

The one thing I knew for certain was that I was going to do everything in my power to make Bella mine. To make her see what I saw. To make her feel what I felt. Something had thrown us together, and I had to make sure it stuck.



BPOV

It had been a week since my blissful day with Edward. I hadn’t seen him, spoken with him, or made any contact with him in those seven days.

But I was saving myself from the inevitable heartache. Love at first sight… pffft… it’s what fairytales are made of and I’m not fortunate enough to live that kind of life.

But I felt lost, alone and completely confused.

After I’d left his apartment, I’d caught the train home to the small house on the outskirts of town I shared with Alice. She had bounced around uncontrollably when she’d heard be come in the door and wrapping her arms around me she’d congratulated me on the end of my dry spell. Apparently I had an aura of sex flowing around me. I hadn’t showered before I left so I took that as a polite way of saying “You smell like sex Bella”… nice!

That’s what friends are for!

Once I’d showered, changed into comfies and dragged myself back down stairs Alice was ready for every ounce of information from the hours before. Like old times we’d loaded up with ice cream and wine and curled ourselves on the couch while I gave her the details. Or at least I tried to give her the details.

But I couldn’t, I didn’t know what I was describing. It wasn’t merely a fun filled day of hot sex with a random stranger. But what exactly was it?

I’d gone to bed that night more puzzled than before and I hadn’t slept a wink. Just thinking about how it had felt when I touched him sent tingles through every part of my body to my fingertips.

My week had continued as it normally would except for the fact that I kind of plodded through my shifts at the small bookstore I worked at. My mind clearly elsewhere. I had thought back to that day a million times trying to figure out what it all meant.

***

I had woken to an unfamiliar, but not unpleasant smell. Soap, sex, a little bit if spice and man. My mind had been running on overtime reminding me where I was and what that delicious smell was. I had kept my eyes closed while I took it all in and I thought about the hours leading up to my afternoon nap.

I had remembered the hot, intimate, crazy sex we’d had in every corner of his huge apartment. I had remembered the pleasure, the intensity and willingness to be with a man who’d I’d known for only a few hours. I’d remembered the ease of being with him, the overwhelming feeling to nurture him when the damn cat had pounced and clawed his skin, then the immense urge to feel him inside me only a split second later.

I had known then that the whole thing was strange, it wasn’t a predicament I’d normally find myself in, but I had really wanted it to be OK. I had really wanted to figure out what the crazy attraction was all about. Feelings like those were not normal.

As I had lain there against his body, pretending to still be sleeping, I had given myself a pep talk. The pompoms had been brought out in full force. I, Bella Swan, could do this had been chanted a few times in my head.

I’d stretched a little, pressing my body against his long lean torso before opening my eyes to see what waited for me.

As soon as I’d laid my eyes on him I had pushed myself away, the lack of contact had registered immediately.

“Shit.” The word had spilled out before I could stop it. Maybe I couldn’t do this. I wasn’t ‘that’ kind of girl.

OK, pompoms back out and the pep talk had continued… you CAN do this Bella. It’s OK. Nothing to be ashamed of. Just talk to him.

That’s when I’d started rambling, going on about the whole thing being awkward and staying for dinner and all kinds of shit. I’d had no idea what I was doing. I’d just needed to desperately relax.

I’d slowly turned my head back towards him and peered through one eye, then two and that was it, the church giggles had started, effectively hiding my nervousness. It had really not been the appropriate time to laugh, but once I’d gotten a good look at that man's hair! When I’d seen him on the train I’d been quite perplexed by the ultra neat way his hair was perfectly styled into some overgrown bouffant. But it had suited him. It worked.

But there it was, sticking up in every direction possible. It was 50% hilarious and 50% pure hot sex.

While explaining the meaning behind my laughter I hadn’t been able to stop myself from reaching out and touching him, attempting to smooth the unruly hair back into some sort of order. I had felt all the nervous tension and awkwardness leave my body as I had once again made contact with him.

He’d immediately responded to my touch, his hand had found my breast once again and he had rolled towards me planting a chaste kiss on my lips. My skin had felt on fire with the contact, yet with the burn came the chills. One kiss had led to another and as his lips and hands had become frantic, he’d pulled me towards him holding me tight.

That’s when I felt it.

Felt his arousal pressing against my belly.

That’s when I’d realized what I was doing and made the drastic switch to “I can’t do this”.

I’d rambled off some excuse, he’d begged me to stay and talk about it. I’d rambled off more excuses, slipped into his bathroom to dress then geared myself up to leave.

But there was a tiny part of me that couldn’t just give in and forget it all. Staring at myself in the mirror I had come to the conclusion that giving myself some time to think about it would answer all the questions swimming in my head.

Jotting my number down on a scrap of paper from my purse, I’d made my way out into the living room. He’d begged me to stay once again, his voice getting more anxious as he spoke, but I’d stuck to my plan. Pushing the paper into his hand I’d reached up to place what I knew was the last kiss we’d ever share on his chin then I’d turned and left.

And didn't look back.

***

Now as I stood behind the counter busying myself with the stock order, I found myself thinking it over once again. I was no closer to knowing what I wanted.

I’d left it in his hands though. I no longer felt like it was my choice to make. It was his choice now and I would accept the outcome.

He’d done as I’d asked and hadn’t contacted me that week, but I’m sure by now he’d forgotten about that day. Or at least placed it in his ‘Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt’ folder.

I’d file it away there, too. That was my resolve.

As I typed the book order into the antiquated computer I heard the bells tied to the door handle ring and looked up to find myself staring straight into the same green eyes that had captivated me a week ago.

“Bella.” Edward acknowledged with a slight nod of his head.

After hearing the gravelly sex of his voice, the resolve I’d had left and the feelings of lust came flooding back.

I was toast.