EPOV
I drove away from Bella’s house feeling like I’d left a part of me there with her. Being inside the car alone made me feel claustrophobic, which made no sense. I had to get out. I had to return to find my missing piece.
Without realizing what I was doing, I had turned the car around and was heading right back to her. I pulled up outside her house, barely getting the keys out of the ignition before I took the three steps to her front porch in one stride.
Resting my head against the door, I knocked, willing her to answer, and then hoping she would let me in.
I could hear her walking toward me. I could feel her presence even through the door. The sparks of energy jumping from my body and attempting to burst through solid wood to connect with her.
“Who is it?” I heard Bella call, so close I knew she must be looking through the peep hole.
“It’s me, Edward.” I replied reluctantly, now realizing that maybe this wasn’t the best idea.
Eddie Jr. had begun his little bouncing trick the moment I’d turned the car around. After hearing her voice again he was now demonstrating his dancing abilities to the max.
The key turned in the lock and slowly the door opened.
The relief to see a smiling Bella on the other side sent me into a tailspin of emotions.
Crossing the threshold, we fell into each other’s arms, our lips moving together in an instant. I immediately requested a game of tonsil hockey and was overjoyed when she accepted.
We stumbled toward the staircase, barely breaking our holds on each other. A mess of arms, legs and tongues, we crashed our way up a few steps before collapsing in a heap of passion.
Bella pulled back for a moment, the lust evident in her hooded eyes. She pulled on my shirt, buttons flying in all directions. As she pushed the shirt over my shoulders my lips found hers again.
Pulling her up into my arms and pushing her legs to wrap around my waist, I moved further up the stairs toward our destination. I knew the destination was her room, but where the fuck was that?
Placing Bella back on her feet, I asked her out of breath, “Where to?”
Grabbing the waistband of my jeans, she dragged me down the hallway and through an open door at the end. I managed to squeeze in a quick glance around the room before I was forcefully pulled down onto the bed.
Her room was small, tidy, full of books and very purple.
Bella lay beneath me, her rich chestnut hair spread out on the purple comforter below her. The navy blue of her silk top was a perfect contrast against her pale white soft skin. The clothing was like delicate wrapping paper covering the best gift I could ever receive.
She was wearing entirely too much at this point in time.
The wrapping needed to come off.
As I hovered over her, breathless and in total awe, I moved my hand down her side. Grazing her breast and gliding over her rib cage, I made my way down to her jeans zipper. Tugging her jeans open, she raised herself to me as I pushed them over her hips. My breath hitched at the sight of her simple white cotton panties. So innocent but so sexy.
Kicking her legs, her jeans dropped to the floor. She pushed me back and sat up as her hands moved toward my own pants. After struggling to maneuver them over my now throbbing cock, she pushed them down my thighs and to the floor. Kicking off my shoes and socks, I stepped out of my pants and looked down at the striking sight before me.
Standing before her, I watched as she reached up, pulling the shirt over her head and throwing it ceremoniously across the room. Her long curls fell down across her shoulders and over the swell of her chest.
I almost came right there on the spot as she revealed her bare breasts to me.
Braless.
Shit. She’d been braless all fucking night.
A pair of panties and a pair of boxers were the only items that now stood in the way of us being completely naked together once again.
Pushing her back down onto the bed, I kissed her forcefully, the heat of our desire burning a fire over both our bodies. Moving my mouth to her jaw, I nibbled softly toward her ear, sucking her lobe in between my teeth and biting down gently.
A moan escaped her lips. The same sound I’d heard so many times that day at my apartment.
The sound made me shiver. I wanted it to be a constant in my life.
Continuing my trail of kisses and bites down her neck and across her chest, I hummed as I sucked her nipple into my mouth, feeling the rose pink nub harden against my tongue.
She arched her body into me, asking, begging for more.
Moving to pamper her other breast, the squirm of her warm body beneath me persuading me to take it slowly.
I wanted to love and cherish her the way she deserved to be.
Kissing across her toned stomach, I reached her panties. Tugging with my teeth and then hooking my fingers over the waistband, I slipped them down her long legs.
Bella lay perfectly naked, her legs spread, inviting me in.
Working my way back up her leg, I nibbled over her ankle and licked the crease of her knee. The tension in her small body continued to swell as I moved toward her center.
Without warning, I swept my tongue across her opening, tasting all that was Bella. Beautiful Bella.
Her back arched, bringing her hips to my face as she huskily said my name. Hearing my name fall from her lips spurred me on to give her the best orgasm she’d ever experienced.
I slipped one finger in, curling and twisting as my mouth found her clit. Her breathing became labored as I moved in and out of her, adding a finger and sucking on her swollen bud.
I felt her hands grip in my hair as I held her body down to the bed with my free hand. She wriggled beneath me as I sped up my movements.
Before long she was calling my name as she came powerfully against my mouth.
The sound of my name being called almost surpassed her moan as my favorite sound.
Moving my way back up her body, I was surprised as she pulled me roughly by the hair into a hard kiss.
She moved to my ear and whispered sensuously, her breath fanning over my neck and sending chills down my spine.
“I need you inside me Edward. Now…”
Beep, beep, beep, beep.
The repetitive, annoying beep of my alarm clock woke me from my dream.
Fuck, it was all a dream.
I reached over, slamming my fist across the snooze button and turned my attention to Eddie Jr., who was creating a spectacular tent in the sheets, throbbing painfully at the lack of release.
My hand moved down under the covers, grabbing my rock hard cock and moving vigorously up and down its length. Closing my eyes and thinking of Bella, I worked myself up into a frenzy, spilling my load violently across my stomach.
And shit, what a load it was.
With the pressure in my balls released, I moved to sit up, grabbing a nearby t-shirt to clean myself. Stumbling out of bed, cursing under my breath, I made my way to the bathroom.
As the scorching hot water of the shower rained over my back and shoulders, I thought of the night before with Bella.
~
Our date had been nothing but amazing. If you can call a constant hard on, an obnoxious amount of sexual frustration and no release at the end of the night amazing. Once I would have disagreed, but with my sexual tension being caused by Bella… I’ll take it and call it amazing.
From the moment she answered her front door, Eddie Jr. had stood at attention, and his guard hadn’t dropped once. I was thankful the pants I had chosen to wear hid my predicament, or at least I hoped they did.
We had talked, laughed and shared stories but stayed clear of the circumstances of our first meeting. I’d caught her watching me numerous times as we ate. I’d fed her cake and seen the passion take over her eyes as she seductively sucked the chocolate off the spoon.
With all the teasing back and forth, I’d found myself having a hard time not touching her. As we’d left the restaurant, my hand had been magnetically drawn to the small of her back. I’d stood as close as I could while we waited for the car.
She didn’t seem to mind. We were comfortably quiet, and the electricity wrapped us as it had that first day.
On the drive home we discussed seeing each other again. After she reduced me to a stammering fool with her hesitation, albeit a joke, we agreed to meet up again the following weekend.
A week was too long. I’d gone through a week apart from her before, and I didn’t like it at all.
Considering last night’s dream, I’m guessing my right hand and my cock are going to be great friends for the next seven days, and I’m going to go through a few loads of laundry.
Once we reached Bella’s house, we’d run laughing through the rain to her front door. Dashing through puddles, my pants, shoes and socks were soaked. She’d invited me in to dry off and I’d declined.
I knew if I’d stayed I would have ruined the trust she was placing on me. I’d assured her she wasn’t a booty call, and I had to show her that was the truth.
Reluctantly I’d left.
Driving home I’d felt empty.
Eddie Jr. had felt betrayed.
~
The water was beginning to cool and I snapped out of my daydream. Through the noise of the shower I could hear a distant annoying noise.
Beep, beep, beep, beep.
The alarm sounding in my bedroom was a racket I could live without. A noise that was at the bottom of my favorite list, and one I’d happily replace with the sound of Bella calling my name.
~
Monday morning came around all too quickly. Activities I’d had planned with my family for months taking over the majority of the weekend. For that I was thankful, not only had it somewhat kept my mind off Bella, but I was now also two days closer to seeing her again.
Sitting at my desk on the 14th floor, looking out over the city, I powered up my laptop and logged into e-mails.
214.
Do my clients not have lives? They all seemed to use the weekend to catch up on e-mails, making my Monday mornings an e-mail hell.
I started clicking through the list, flagging some that could wait until later in the day, responding to others that needed immediate attention.
Half way down the list I saw it. A friend request from Facebook.
Opening up the e-mail, the name Bella Swan sang to me like a choir of angels.
Bella Swan.
With a shaking hand I clicked through to Facebook and was greeted with Bella staring right back at me. Her profile picture showed a happy Bella standing in a crowded bar, beer in hand, with her arm wrapped around Alice.
I’d heard so many crazy stories about Alice on Friday night, I couldn’t help but like her. She seemed like a good friend, someone worth keeping around.
Accepting her friend request, I spent the next two hours cyber stalking her.
Her status updates were witty and full of sarcasm. Favorite songs were posted via YouTube on her wall. Then I moved on to her photos.
She didn’t have many posted, but a few people had tagged her in their own. I moved through the images, amazed at the beauty before me. She was so photogenic. Her smile lit up her face as well as the faces of her friends and family around her.
In an album from a couple of years ago, I came across pictures of her with a tanned man with short, spiky, jet black hair and dark ominous eyes. His muscular form towered over Bella in a possessive way, and although they were clearly a couple, no intimacy came across at all.
The main difference was that her smile was gone. She looked tired and withdrawn. Each and every picture of them together showed his beaming, overly white-toothed smile and her hesitant, tight lipped, sad look.
Jacob Black was his name.
She’d told me she’d been hurt before. Was this the bastard who hurt her?
I hoped I’d never find myself face to face with him if he was. His face wouldn’t be so blindingly smiley if we did meet.
Two hours later I realized I’d answered no work related e-mails at all, and I was getting seriously close to having to put in unpaid overtime because of it.
Reluctantly, I logged out of Facebook, before briefly considering saving one of her pictures as my desktop background. I thought that was a little too premature in our ‘relationship’ and decided against it. I was happy in the fact that I could log in and see her beautiful face at the drop of a hat.
After just an hour of getting actual work accomplished, another e-mail from Facebook.
"Bella Swan has posted something on your wall”
Clicking through to Facebook, I feel my heart beat pick up speed and feel my temperature rise.
Hey, thanks for accepting the friend request. I had fun Friday night. I'm looking forward to the weekend. Hope your week is going well. Bella.
I knew then that she was likely cyber stalking her way through my photo albums at that very moment. Wasn’t the whole purpose of Facebook to be nosey?
Did I have pictures of Rosalie on there? Did I want Bella to see pictures of Rosalie? What if she’s already seen them – would it be weird for me to delete them now?
Why was I freaking out about this?
I wanted to be the perfect catch. I wanted Bella to see that she couldn’t live without me, just the way I already felt about her.
I didn’t want anything - anything - so trivial to get in the way.
Deciding that I couldn’t change anything on my profile now, I responded to her post.
Bella, I had a great time too. Thank you for agreeing to let me take you out. The week is dragging already, I need it to be the weekend. Edward.
Smiling broadly, I hit send. Then once again got down to work, hoping it would speed up the hours.
It didn’t.
Each day dragged, each hour dragged. I was beginning to feel like I was being punished for something. I was also beginning to feel like a lovesick puppy.
The highlights of my days were the odd message from Bella. Just checking in, just saying hi.
But seemingly unable to lose complete contact for seven days, just like myself.
At least I can hope that’s the truth.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Chapter Four - It's a date!
BPOV
The feelings that overtook me when I saw those eyes and heard that voice were beyond intense. I tried to be strong. I tried not to cave so easily. But it didn’t last.
Within moments, I’d suggested we meet for coffee. I had to hear what he wanted to say, what had made him track me down to my workplace. If I didn’t hear him out now, I’d think about it for an eternity.
I’d tripped my way through 20 minutes of work. Knowing that he sat only two stores away from me did nothing for my concentration. I don’t recall accomplishing anything in those 20 minutes.
After what had seemed like 20 hours, not minutes, I’d finally walked into the coffee shop and watched in awe as he had stood to wave me over. He was taller and leaner than I’d remembered; I wasn’t sure how that was possible. His hair had been a styled catastrophe, and I had needed to physically restrain my hands, by linking them behind my back, to stop me from reaching out towards it.
His beautifully angled face had been a mixture of relief, apprehension and something that hinted of lust. Those feelings had pretty much mirrored my own.
I’d unabashedly stared at him as I’d walked across the room. I had wanted to drink it all in, lap it all up, in case this was the last time I ever saw The Pretty.
He’d talked, I’d talked.
I’d been assured I wasn’t being stalked, I wasn’t a booty call and was most definitely something more in his eyes. What exactly that more was, I wasn’t sure.
He’d spoken softly and sincerely and I’d believed every word he said.
He’d listened when I spoke of my fears. He’d told me of his. We’d shared just the surface of our pasts.
We hadn’t spoken of the day that brought us together. I hoped we would at some point, but then had not been the time or the place.
Now, a little over 24 hours later, I stood in front of the full length mirror on the back of my closet door. I was in the seventh outfit of the last hour.
The first had been too trashy, the second too suggestive, the third too ‘librarian’, the fourth too casual, the fifth far too low cut and the sixth would have allowed me to freeze to death.
Maybe this was the one.
The skinny jeans hugged my hips and butt perfectly, showing off my long slim legs. Ballet flats would help keep me upright and a navy blue, silky wrap style top with delicate ruffles around the capped sleeves. Dipping to a respectful v at the neck, giving just a slight hint of what lay beneath.
Granted, all Edward had seen me in so far was jeans, but I didn’t want to represent anything I was not yet ready to undertake… again.
Running the brush one last time through my hair and applying one more coat of lip gloss, I grabbed my purse and phone and headed downstairs to wait for my date.
Half way down the stairs a key turned in the lock and Alice came crashing through the door, out of breath and soaking wet.
“Did I make it? I did! I made it!” She blurted out as she kicked off her wet shoes and threw her jacket over the banister.
“Make what Alice? What’s the rush?”
“I just wanted to get home before you left. You know me, I felt the need to check out your outfit..." She paused momentarily and gave me the once over from head to toe---“...which I approve of, by the way--- and give you a pep talk if you needed one.”
“Thanks Alice” I chuckled. She could be so damn cute.
“I’m just glad I made it. Traffic was awful with the rain and rush hour, you know how people get driving in the rain, it took me 15 minutes to get from the train station parking lot to here!” she prattled on while heading to the kitchen at the back of the house.
I followed knowing that I wouldn’t get another word in until she’d emptied her brain of all the thoughts she’d stored up while alone on her travels. Often she’d not been able to keep it in long enough and word vomited over some poor unsuspecting commuter. This of course led to her being mortified that she’d done it again and led to an hour long, one sided conversation about how she needed to learn to pause and take a breath.
I loved Alice to bits. She’d been my best friend since pre-school. I’d learned to just go with the flow and accept her for the crazy but loveable woman that she was.
She had a wonderful heart and although tiny, could give the best bear hug.
Grabbing a soda from the fridge, she sat down at the small table crammed into the corner of the kitchen and patted the seat next to her, in essence, ordering me to sit.
I did as I was told.
“So, are you ready for your big date? Do you know where he’s taking you? What time is he picking you up? 7pm? Are you going to sleep with him?” she rattled out the questions faster than I could even register, but the last question was the only one that stuck.
“Alice, no, of course I’m not going to sleep with him. Jeez, I don’t want him to think I’m easy or something.”
“Erm, Bella… you already slept with the guy, numerous times in one day, the same day you met him… he may already have that impression.” Alice said in the softest voice I’ve ever heard come from her little frame.
I buried my face in my hands, “I know that’s a possibility Alice, but I’m trusting him OK? He said this wasn’t a booty call. He said he wanted to start fresh, get to know me. I need to trust him on that or this isn’t going to work.”
My words were more of a reassurance to myself than to Alice.
I had to believe that he wasn’t expecting me to jump back into bed with him.
I had to believe that he would take it slow.
I had to believe that the connection we both admitted to feeling was something worth giving the chance.
Amazingly Alice had managed to stay silent while I gathered my thoughts. She sat opposite me patiently waiting for me to continue the conversation.
“Alice, there is nothing I want more than to lock myself and that pretty, pretty man in my bedroom and not leave. There is nothing I want more. But, if I’m ever going to know if what he wants with me is something more than just sex… I can’t just jump in the sack with him again.”
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” Alice hung her head and avoided eye contact as she spoke.
“No, you should have said that. It’s the truth, Alice.” I urged her to look at me. “I did sleep with him – a lot – after knowing him for like an hour. You’re absolutely right, maybe he does think I’m easy. But I don’t think that’s the case.
There is this connection between us...I can’t describe it. I’ve never felt anything like it before. I have to give that a chance.”
Alice smiled and moved to throw her arms around my shoulders and squeeze me entirely too tightly.
“Hearing you talk like that makes me happy Bella. You deserve some happiness… I hope this is it,” she spoke into my shoulder.
Patting her back, I managed to squirm out of the hug before I began to feel faint from lack of oxygen. “Thanks, we’ll see I guess – I don’t even know him, I need to find out that side of him too.”
We sat there and spoke about our day for a while, the constant tick tock of the clock seemed to rebound off every wall. The hands ticking toward seven o’clock.
Then the hands started ticking past seven. Five minutes past, ten minutes past…. eleven… and I heard a sharp knock echo down the hall from the front door.
I stood nervously and smiled at Alice.
“Please stay in here.” I asked, “I’m not ready for formal introductions yet.”
Ever the best friend, she kissed me on my cheek and wished me good luck.
The walk down the hallway was no longer than 15 feet, but it felt like an eternity.
The anticipation of what the evening would bring running laps in my head.
I reached the door just as another sharp knock sounded.
Opening the door my heart stopped in my chest for a few beats as I took in the sight before me.
There he stood under a large umbrella dressed in black, well fitted pants and a gray button down shirt, the top few buttons open and revealing his muscular chest beneath it. His hair was perfectly styled in the bouffant I remembered from the train, and I couldn’t help but think about messing it right back up.
I ran my eyes up the full length of his body taking in the Eighth Wonder of the World standing before me.
Ending on his beautiful face, I was treated to the most panty dropping, lop-sided smile I had ever seen. His green eyes sparkled with confidence and his right eyebrow quirked upward along with his lips. He was freshly shaven and just divine.
Divine was the word of choice.
“Bella.” His deep velvet voice brought me back to my senses, “You look beautiful… shall we?”
“Sure, just let me grab my bag and jacket.” I hurriedly turned to gather my belongings before Edward caught wind of the blush that was quickly traveling across my face.
His smirk and the playful look in his eye had confirmed that he’d noticed my appreciation of him also.
I shrugged on my jacket and slung my bag over my shoulder. Shouting a quick goodbye to Alice, I stepped out into the shelter of his umbrella.
We walked down the front stairs from the porch, and I suddenly lost my footing on the slick stone step, reaching out to grab Edwards arm to stop me from falling.
So much for ballet flats keeping me upright.
Edward clung onto me with his free arm, and I swear I heard a soft chuckle over the noise of the rain beating down around us. I dared to look sideways and caught a glimpse of the man now holding me up. Sure enough, laughter played on his lips.
I could feel bad for being laughed at, for something that was actually funny, or I could laugh along. I chose to laugh along.
As we made our way slowly towards the street, holding on to each other and laughing, I looked up to determine how far I had to go without falling. The hunk of junk that I’d watched him drive away from the store in yesterday was a couple of spots down the street.
He opened the passenger door first and held the umbrella over me as I climbed in. I got myself situated as he made his way around to his side of the car. He closed the umbrella and threw it on the floor in the back then slipped into the driver seat.
Those few seconds in the rain had darkened his shirt around his shoulders and caused droplets to drip from his hair and down over his face.
I wanted to lick it, but refrained.
“Nice ride.” I commented, trying to keep the mood light.
“Yeah, it’s probably time for an upgrade.” Edward quipped, “But I just can’t seem to let this old Volvo go.”
He closed his eyes as if in prayer as he turned the key in the ignition. The car roared to a noisy life and we turned out onto the street.
“So, where are we headed?”
“Do you like Italian?” he questioned, a warm smile on his face.
“I do.”
“Great, I know this wonderful little restaurant down town. I love it. I think you will too.”
We continued with the small talk as we made our way through the crowded rush hour filled streets. Luckily we were going against traffic and our trip was a little less hectic than some of the harassed workers trying to make it home for dinner.
Edward pulled up at the valet and ran around to open my door, beating the valet to the punch. Luckily the entrance to the restaurant had an overhang and we walked arm in arm through the double doors without another dash through the rain.
The hostess seated us in a secluded booth away from the hustle of the busy restaurant floor. Edward ordered a bottle of red and we both began to look over the menu.
I glanced up to see him concentrating on the menu and took the chance to stare. His bronze hair was no longer perfectly styled, I preferred it mussed up as it was now.
His bright eyes focused intently on the menu before him. The shape of his eyes and the liquid sea green took my thoughts to a dirty place.
I found myself once again zeroing in on his tear ducts, wanting to reach out and touch them with the tip of my tongue.
My resolve to take things slow was not going to work if I kept going there.
The waiter returned, pulling me out of my fantasies, and took our orders as we fell back into an easy flow of conversation.
He asked me about the bookstore and how long I’d worked there, admitting to it being a place he often visited up until a few months ago. I’d worked there since I’d moved to the city to live with Alice, and I was surprised I’d never seen him in there before. He wasn’t something I’d miss.
That led into our mutual love for books. I learned he’d read everything from the classics to that new set of vampire books popular with teenage girls and their mothers.
After I’d picked myself up off the floor from laughing at that revelation, we moved onto music. I played the guitar, he played the piano. Remembering how his fingers had played my body a little over a week ago, I decided he must be quite an accomplished pianist.
The exchange flowed easily, the food was delicious and the wine was making my head just a little fuzzy. We’d covered so many topics but never really dove into the events that had thrown us together in the first place.
I feared that if I brought it up the night would take a turn toward awkward. I also feared that if I brought it up I’d want to repeat it. Purely to check that my memories were correct, of course.
While clearing our dinner plates, the waiter placed a dessert menu in front of me. A mean tactic, but he could obviously tell a sweet tooth when he saw one. Edward saw me practically salivating at the choices and ordered their six layer chocolate cake, topped with berries and an espresso for himself.
The cake arrived with two spoons, although four or more would have been appropriate. Edward and I laughed at the gluttonous mass of sugary goodness before us, and I dove in. Amazingly, it tasted even better than it looked.
I moved to wipe some chocolate from the corners of my mouth, clumsily knocking my spoon to the floor. Without missing a beat, Edward dug his spoon into the cake and held it up to my mouth. The look on his face as I slowly sucked the huge glob of chocolate off his spoon was the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.
I could see the lust take over his face, his eyes darkened as his tongue dipped out and coated his lips in moisture.
It took all the strength I had not to climb across the table and attack him right then and there.
This wasn’t going to end the way I had told myself it should if he kept tricking me that way.
Edward settled the bill and we headed to the door with the remainder of the cake packaged up to go. His hand was placed on my lower back as he guided me around the tables. I could feel the heat and sparks traveling through my body from the point of contact.
Exiting out to the valet podium he stepped in painfully closer as we waited for the car to arrive. The silence had once again settled over us, but like the first time we met, it wasn’t awkward. A comfortable silence but an uncomfortable tension.
The car pulled up and Edward walked me around to the passenger side, opening the door and holding my hand as I sunk down into the seat. He walked quickly around to his side, tipping the valet on the way, patting the dashboard with a small smile as he fastened his seat belt.
“So, I had fun, I really had a lot of fun. Do you think we could do this again… soon?” he asked as we pulled out into the street.
The hope was written all over his face. Hmmm...I could have fun with this.
“I don’t know Edward, I mean… yeah I had fun. But where is this going?” I questioned him, trying to keep my face as straight as possible.
“Well… what… we can’t know that…” he stammered. His expression was that of a boy who had just lost his puppy.
I couldn’t keep the façade up. I couldn’t see that sad look on his face a moment longer.
“I’m kidding, I’m sorry. I would like to see you again.” The relief washed away the sadness as I continued, “I really enjoyed myself. Let’s do something again next weekend, does that sound OK?”
“Next weekend, sure, sounds good.” The smile in his voice was apparent without me even seeing it.
But I had to see it. I looked up and caught his eye, and our eyes locked for a few seconds longer than they should, considering he was driving.
I broke his gaze first, for my safety as his passenger and looked out of the window at the downtown buildings passing by, a huge grin plastered on my face. The rain was still falling heavily. The streets were now almost deserted, just the odd person heading home late.
We chatted about our plans for the remainder of the weekend and the work week ahead of us, and before we knew it we were entering my neighborhood. As we rounded the corner onto my street, we cemented our plans for our second date.
Edward parked the car as close to my house as he could. He leaned around to the back seat, brushing my thigh with the back of his hand as he reached back to grab the umbrella. I started slightly at the contact, wishing I could allow it to be more.
He jumped out of the car, and holding the umbrella above us both, we ran laughing to my front door. We seemed to hit every puddle in our path, our feet and legs both soaked by the time we reached the stoop.
I rooted through my purse, grabbing my keys and fumbling with the lock. After what seemed like forever, getting impossibly wetter by the second, the door opened and we both stepped in out of the rain.
“I’m sorry, you’re soaking… you should come in and dry off.”
“Well, technically I am already in.” he smirked, the corner of his mouth lifting in the most adorable manner. “But, I should go. Really, I should go.”
He leaned in and placed a small tender kiss against my cheek. The electricity seemed to hold us together like an invisible force.
“I really did have a great time Bella. Thank you for agreeing to see me tonight.”
The velvet purr of his voice vibrated over my skin. I could feel my legs shake slightly and the moisture gather between my thighs as my mind reminded my body of the things he could do to me.
I longed to capture his hand in mine and drag him up the stairs to my room. I wanted the image of The Pretty in my bed to be real and not just a dream.
Nobody had ever had this hold over my body and my mind. It scared me and snapped me back to my senses.
“Thank you. I look forward to seeing you next week.” I managed to spurt out formally as I watched him turn and make his way back out into the rain.
I stood and watched as his long legs carried him gracefully over the puddles back to his car.
I watched as he folded himself into the Volvo and drove off into the night.
I watched the empty street after he had disappeared around the corner.
Closing the door I slid down to the floor, my head in my hands.
I was so fucked.
He had some bizarre hold on me. There was some crazy connection that scared me as much as it excited me.
Suddenly a whole week before I saw him again seemed far too long.
The feelings that overtook me when I saw those eyes and heard that voice were beyond intense. I tried to be strong. I tried not to cave so easily. But it didn’t last.
Within moments, I’d suggested we meet for coffee. I had to hear what he wanted to say, what had made him track me down to my workplace. If I didn’t hear him out now, I’d think about it for an eternity.
I’d tripped my way through 20 minutes of work. Knowing that he sat only two stores away from me did nothing for my concentration. I don’t recall accomplishing anything in those 20 minutes.
After what had seemed like 20 hours, not minutes, I’d finally walked into the coffee shop and watched in awe as he had stood to wave me over. He was taller and leaner than I’d remembered; I wasn’t sure how that was possible. His hair had been a styled catastrophe, and I had needed to physically restrain my hands, by linking them behind my back, to stop me from reaching out towards it.
His beautifully angled face had been a mixture of relief, apprehension and something that hinted of lust. Those feelings had pretty much mirrored my own.
I’d unabashedly stared at him as I’d walked across the room. I had wanted to drink it all in, lap it all up, in case this was the last time I ever saw The Pretty.
He’d talked, I’d talked.
I’d been assured I wasn’t being stalked, I wasn’t a booty call and was most definitely something more in his eyes. What exactly that more was, I wasn’t sure.
He’d spoken softly and sincerely and I’d believed every word he said.
He’d listened when I spoke of my fears. He’d told me of his. We’d shared just the surface of our pasts.
We hadn’t spoken of the day that brought us together. I hoped we would at some point, but then had not been the time or the place.
Now, a little over 24 hours later, I stood in front of the full length mirror on the back of my closet door. I was in the seventh outfit of the last hour.
The first had been too trashy, the second too suggestive, the third too ‘librarian’, the fourth too casual, the fifth far too low cut and the sixth would have allowed me to freeze to death.
Maybe this was the one.
The skinny jeans hugged my hips and butt perfectly, showing off my long slim legs. Ballet flats would help keep me upright and a navy blue, silky wrap style top with delicate ruffles around the capped sleeves. Dipping to a respectful v at the neck, giving just a slight hint of what lay beneath.
Granted, all Edward had seen me in so far was jeans, but I didn’t want to represent anything I was not yet ready to undertake… again.
Running the brush one last time through my hair and applying one more coat of lip gloss, I grabbed my purse and phone and headed downstairs to wait for my date.
Half way down the stairs a key turned in the lock and Alice came crashing through the door, out of breath and soaking wet.
“Did I make it? I did! I made it!” She blurted out as she kicked off her wet shoes and threw her jacket over the banister.
“Make what Alice? What’s the rush?”
“I just wanted to get home before you left. You know me, I felt the need to check out your outfit..." She paused momentarily and gave me the once over from head to toe---“...which I approve of, by the way--- and give you a pep talk if you needed one.”
“Thanks Alice” I chuckled. She could be so damn cute.
“I’m just glad I made it. Traffic was awful with the rain and rush hour, you know how people get driving in the rain, it took me 15 minutes to get from the train station parking lot to here!” she prattled on while heading to the kitchen at the back of the house.
I followed knowing that I wouldn’t get another word in until she’d emptied her brain of all the thoughts she’d stored up while alone on her travels. Often she’d not been able to keep it in long enough and word vomited over some poor unsuspecting commuter. This of course led to her being mortified that she’d done it again and led to an hour long, one sided conversation about how she needed to learn to pause and take a breath.
I loved Alice to bits. She’d been my best friend since pre-school. I’d learned to just go with the flow and accept her for the crazy but loveable woman that she was.
She had a wonderful heart and although tiny, could give the best bear hug.
Grabbing a soda from the fridge, she sat down at the small table crammed into the corner of the kitchen and patted the seat next to her, in essence, ordering me to sit.
I did as I was told.
“So, are you ready for your big date? Do you know where he’s taking you? What time is he picking you up? 7pm? Are you going to sleep with him?” she rattled out the questions faster than I could even register, but the last question was the only one that stuck.
“Alice, no, of course I’m not going to sleep with him. Jeez, I don’t want him to think I’m easy or something.”
“Erm, Bella… you already slept with the guy, numerous times in one day, the same day you met him… he may already have that impression.” Alice said in the softest voice I’ve ever heard come from her little frame.
I buried my face in my hands, “I know that’s a possibility Alice, but I’m trusting him OK? He said this wasn’t a booty call. He said he wanted to start fresh, get to know me. I need to trust him on that or this isn’t going to work.”
My words were more of a reassurance to myself than to Alice.
I had to believe that he wasn’t expecting me to jump back into bed with him.
I had to believe that he would take it slow.
I had to believe that the connection we both admitted to feeling was something worth giving the chance.
Amazingly Alice had managed to stay silent while I gathered my thoughts. She sat opposite me patiently waiting for me to continue the conversation.
“Alice, there is nothing I want more than to lock myself and that pretty, pretty man in my bedroom and not leave. There is nothing I want more. But, if I’m ever going to know if what he wants with me is something more than just sex… I can’t just jump in the sack with him again.”
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” Alice hung her head and avoided eye contact as she spoke.
“No, you should have said that. It’s the truth, Alice.” I urged her to look at me. “I did sleep with him – a lot – after knowing him for like an hour. You’re absolutely right, maybe he does think I’m easy. But I don’t think that’s the case.
There is this connection between us...I can’t describe it. I’ve never felt anything like it before. I have to give that a chance.”
Alice smiled and moved to throw her arms around my shoulders and squeeze me entirely too tightly.
“Hearing you talk like that makes me happy Bella. You deserve some happiness… I hope this is it,” she spoke into my shoulder.
Patting her back, I managed to squirm out of the hug before I began to feel faint from lack of oxygen. “Thanks, we’ll see I guess – I don’t even know him, I need to find out that side of him too.”
We sat there and spoke about our day for a while, the constant tick tock of the clock seemed to rebound off every wall. The hands ticking toward seven o’clock.
Then the hands started ticking past seven. Five minutes past, ten minutes past…. eleven… and I heard a sharp knock echo down the hall from the front door.
I stood nervously and smiled at Alice.
“Please stay in here.” I asked, “I’m not ready for formal introductions yet.”
Ever the best friend, she kissed me on my cheek and wished me good luck.
The walk down the hallway was no longer than 15 feet, but it felt like an eternity.
The anticipation of what the evening would bring running laps in my head.
I reached the door just as another sharp knock sounded.
Opening the door my heart stopped in my chest for a few beats as I took in the sight before me.
There he stood under a large umbrella dressed in black, well fitted pants and a gray button down shirt, the top few buttons open and revealing his muscular chest beneath it. His hair was perfectly styled in the bouffant I remembered from the train, and I couldn’t help but think about messing it right back up.
I ran my eyes up the full length of his body taking in the Eighth Wonder of the World standing before me.
Ending on his beautiful face, I was treated to the most panty dropping, lop-sided smile I had ever seen. His green eyes sparkled with confidence and his right eyebrow quirked upward along with his lips. He was freshly shaven and just divine.
Divine was the word of choice.
“Bella.” His deep velvet voice brought me back to my senses, “You look beautiful… shall we?”
“Sure, just let me grab my bag and jacket.” I hurriedly turned to gather my belongings before Edward caught wind of the blush that was quickly traveling across my face.
His smirk and the playful look in his eye had confirmed that he’d noticed my appreciation of him also.
I shrugged on my jacket and slung my bag over my shoulder. Shouting a quick goodbye to Alice, I stepped out into the shelter of his umbrella.
We walked down the front stairs from the porch, and I suddenly lost my footing on the slick stone step, reaching out to grab Edwards arm to stop me from falling.
So much for ballet flats keeping me upright.
Edward clung onto me with his free arm, and I swear I heard a soft chuckle over the noise of the rain beating down around us. I dared to look sideways and caught a glimpse of the man now holding me up. Sure enough, laughter played on his lips.
I could feel bad for being laughed at, for something that was actually funny, or I could laugh along. I chose to laugh along.
As we made our way slowly towards the street, holding on to each other and laughing, I looked up to determine how far I had to go without falling. The hunk of junk that I’d watched him drive away from the store in yesterday was a couple of spots down the street.
He opened the passenger door first and held the umbrella over me as I climbed in. I got myself situated as he made his way around to his side of the car. He closed the umbrella and threw it on the floor in the back then slipped into the driver seat.
Those few seconds in the rain had darkened his shirt around his shoulders and caused droplets to drip from his hair and down over his face.
I wanted to lick it, but refrained.
“Nice ride.” I commented, trying to keep the mood light.
“Yeah, it’s probably time for an upgrade.” Edward quipped, “But I just can’t seem to let this old Volvo go.”
He closed his eyes as if in prayer as he turned the key in the ignition. The car roared to a noisy life and we turned out onto the street.
“So, where are we headed?”
“Do you like Italian?” he questioned, a warm smile on his face.
“I do.”
“Great, I know this wonderful little restaurant down town. I love it. I think you will too.”
We continued with the small talk as we made our way through the crowded rush hour filled streets. Luckily we were going against traffic and our trip was a little less hectic than some of the harassed workers trying to make it home for dinner.
Edward pulled up at the valet and ran around to open my door, beating the valet to the punch. Luckily the entrance to the restaurant had an overhang and we walked arm in arm through the double doors without another dash through the rain.
The hostess seated us in a secluded booth away from the hustle of the busy restaurant floor. Edward ordered a bottle of red and we both began to look over the menu.
I glanced up to see him concentrating on the menu and took the chance to stare. His bronze hair was no longer perfectly styled, I preferred it mussed up as it was now.
His bright eyes focused intently on the menu before him. The shape of his eyes and the liquid sea green took my thoughts to a dirty place.
I found myself once again zeroing in on his tear ducts, wanting to reach out and touch them with the tip of my tongue.
My resolve to take things slow was not going to work if I kept going there.
The waiter returned, pulling me out of my fantasies, and took our orders as we fell back into an easy flow of conversation.
He asked me about the bookstore and how long I’d worked there, admitting to it being a place he often visited up until a few months ago. I’d worked there since I’d moved to the city to live with Alice, and I was surprised I’d never seen him in there before. He wasn’t something I’d miss.
That led into our mutual love for books. I learned he’d read everything from the classics to that new set of vampire books popular with teenage girls and their mothers.
After I’d picked myself up off the floor from laughing at that revelation, we moved onto music. I played the guitar, he played the piano. Remembering how his fingers had played my body a little over a week ago, I decided he must be quite an accomplished pianist.
The exchange flowed easily, the food was delicious and the wine was making my head just a little fuzzy. We’d covered so many topics but never really dove into the events that had thrown us together in the first place.
I feared that if I brought it up the night would take a turn toward awkward. I also feared that if I brought it up I’d want to repeat it. Purely to check that my memories were correct, of course.
While clearing our dinner plates, the waiter placed a dessert menu in front of me. A mean tactic, but he could obviously tell a sweet tooth when he saw one. Edward saw me practically salivating at the choices and ordered their six layer chocolate cake, topped with berries and an espresso for himself.
The cake arrived with two spoons, although four or more would have been appropriate. Edward and I laughed at the gluttonous mass of sugary goodness before us, and I dove in. Amazingly, it tasted even better than it looked.
I moved to wipe some chocolate from the corners of my mouth, clumsily knocking my spoon to the floor. Without missing a beat, Edward dug his spoon into the cake and held it up to my mouth. The look on his face as I slowly sucked the huge glob of chocolate off his spoon was the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.
I could see the lust take over his face, his eyes darkened as his tongue dipped out and coated his lips in moisture.
It took all the strength I had not to climb across the table and attack him right then and there.
This wasn’t going to end the way I had told myself it should if he kept tricking me that way.
Edward settled the bill and we headed to the door with the remainder of the cake packaged up to go. His hand was placed on my lower back as he guided me around the tables. I could feel the heat and sparks traveling through my body from the point of contact.
Exiting out to the valet podium he stepped in painfully closer as we waited for the car to arrive. The silence had once again settled over us, but like the first time we met, it wasn’t awkward. A comfortable silence but an uncomfortable tension.
The car pulled up and Edward walked me around to the passenger side, opening the door and holding my hand as I sunk down into the seat. He walked quickly around to his side, tipping the valet on the way, patting the dashboard with a small smile as he fastened his seat belt.
“So, I had fun, I really had a lot of fun. Do you think we could do this again… soon?” he asked as we pulled out into the street.
The hope was written all over his face. Hmmm...I could have fun with this.
“I don’t know Edward, I mean… yeah I had fun. But where is this going?” I questioned him, trying to keep my face as straight as possible.
“Well… what… we can’t know that…” he stammered. His expression was that of a boy who had just lost his puppy.
I couldn’t keep the façade up. I couldn’t see that sad look on his face a moment longer.
“I’m kidding, I’m sorry. I would like to see you again.” The relief washed away the sadness as I continued, “I really enjoyed myself. Let’s do something again next weekend, does that sound OK?”
“Next weekend, sure, sounds good.” The smile in his voice was apparent without me even seeing it.
But I had to see it. I looked up and caught his eye, and our eyes locked for a few seconds longer than they should, considering he was driving.
I broke his gaze first, for my safety as his passenger and looked out of the window at the downtown buildings passing by, a huge grin plastered on my face. The rain was still falling heavily. The streets were now almost deserted, just the odd person heading home late.
We chatted about our plans for the remainder of the weekend and the work week ahead of us, and before we knew it we were entering my neighborhood. As we rounded the corner onto my street, we cemented our plans for our second date.
Edward parked the car as close to my house as he could. He leaned around to the back seat, brushing my thigh with the back of his hand as he reached back to grab the umbrella. I started slightly at the contact, wishing I could allow it to be more.
He jumped out of the car, and holding the umbrella above us both, we ran laughing to my front door. We seemed to hit every puddle in our path, our feet and legs both soaked by the time we reached the stoop.
I rooted through my purse, grabbing my keys and fumbling with the lock. After what seemed like forever, getting impossibly wetter by the second, the door opened and we both stepped in out of the rain.
“I’m sorry, you’re soaking… you should come in and dry off.”
“Well, technically I am already in.” he smirked, the corner of his mouth lifting in the most adorable manner. “But, I should go. Really, I should go.”
He leaned in and placed a small tender kiss against my cheek. The electricity seemed to hold us together like an invisible force.
“I really did have a great time Bella. Thank you for agreeing to see me tonight.”
The velvet purr of his voice vibrated over my skin. I could feel my legs shake slightly and the moisture gather between my thighs as my mind reminded my body of the things he could do to me.
I longed to capture his hand in mine and drag him up the stairs to my room. I wanted the image of The Pretty in my bed to be real and not just a dream.
Nobody had ever had this hold over my body and my mind. It scared me and snapped me back to my senses.
“Thank you. I look forward to seeing you next week.” I managed to spurt out formally as I watched him turn and make his way back out into the rain.
I stood and watched as his long legs carried him gracefully over the puddles back to his car.
I watched as he folded himself into the Volvo and drove off into the night.
I watched the empty street after he had disappeared around the corner.
Closing the door I slid down to the floor, my head in my hands.
I was so fucked.
He had some bizarre hold on me. There was some crazy connection that scared me as much as it excited me.
Suddenly a whole week before I saw him again seemed far too long.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Chapter Three - Coffee and Cookies
Seven days ago Bella had placed her name and number into my hand before walking out of my door. She’d asked me to give her at least a week.
I hadn’t been convinced that I could wait that long, so I’d thrown the scrap of paper in my open and empty safe and slammed the door shut sealing it in and avoiding temptation. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have had the ability or the strength to give her a week. If I had any chance at winning her over I had to do as she asked.
So today, one painfully long week later I’d called a few clients, changed my schedule a little and arranged to leave work early. I’d made it back to my apartment by 3 p.m. I now sat on the edge of my bed. My eyes squeezed shut in frustration, eyebrows knotted together and my hands buried in my hair. Any more force and I’d be pulling handfuls out.
What the fuck was the code to my damn safe?
Over the last hour I’d tried every set of numbers I thought it could possibly be. I was about to give up and drink myself straight through Friday and into the weekend when it clicked.
08*02*08
That was the date I’d helpfully suggested to Rose that she would be better off leaving our apartment forever. With my expected level of distrust with her, I’d changed the combination that day.
Clicking through the combination and turning the knob as fast as I could, I pulled open the door grabbing the only thing occupying the cold space -- a small crumpled piece of paper. Smoothing the paper out across my thigh, I saw Bella’s untidy handwriting spelling out her full name and a phone number.
I flipped the paper over in my fingers deciding on my next step. I’d had a week to think about it, but I was as clueless in this moment as I had been the minute she’d stepped out of my front door.
As the paper turned in my hand, I noticed a familiar logo on the other side.
Little Brown Bookstore.
I knew that place, a cute little antiquated store across town. I’d spent many hours browsing the shelves for hidden gems. Thinking about it now, I realized I hadn’t been there in a while.
Looking closer I saw a work schedule of some kind under the image. It wasn’t just any work schedule – it was Bella’s work schedule. And according to this, she’s working right now.
This changed my options dramatically.
If I call her she can ignore my calls. If I see her face to face she has to at least listen to me. Doesn’t she?
With my mind made up I grabbed a clean t-shirt and a pair of jeans from the closet and changed out of my work clothes. Checking my appearance in the bathroom mirror, I ran wet hands through my hair to restore a small amount of control back into it.
Grabbing my wallet and keys, I raced out of the apartment down to the parking garage below.
Slipping behind the wheel of my car, I threw the keys in the ignition and closed my eyes, willing the engine to start. I found a silent prayer often helped.
I didn’t use my old station wagon during the work week anymore, and I always forgot to start her and let her run for a little while, like I should. She was temperamental and I should treat her better. I’d bought her used with my savings when I was 16, and I couldn’t even think of parting with her… but owning a car while living in the city just frustrated me.
I preferred now to walk, to catch the train… I liked to people watch. People fascinated me, and people watching and driving don’t go hand in hand.
But today, I wanted to get to my destination as quickly as I could. Thankfully the engine roared to life on my first attempt. See, how could I part with her faithfulness?
I made my way out of the garage, ignoring the huge oil stain the car revealed as I left my designated spot, and headed in the direction of the bookstore and the woman of my dreams.
Eddie Jr. jumped at the mere thought. I had to remind him he likely wouldn’t get any action any time soon.
Twenty minutes and seventeen red lights later, I circled the block looking for a spot to park. I’d passed by the store front a few times now and each time stolen a glance through the window. The darkened interior didn’t allow me to see much past the display in the window.
My heart was beating faster and the death grip I had on the steering wheel at the thought of seeing Bella again soon was doing nothing for my sweaty palms.
After a further five minutes searching, I had no more patience left and abandoned the car in a 15 minute drop off only zone. I secretly hoped for a ticket – because a ticket would mean she’d let me stay longer than I could even hope for at this point.
Gathering every ounce of confidence that I could, which wasn’t much at this point, I turned towards the store front.
The fear of the unknown was killing me.
I stood outside and watched an elderly gentleman enter and moments later a harassed looking woman in her 30s with three children, all who looked to be under school age, leave.
The door seemed to be working just fine, so why wasn’t I using it?
A final nudge, and I took two long strides, pushed the door open and then I stopped dead in my tracks.
There she was.
She looked even more exquisite than I had dared to remember.
Bella was no more than ten feet from me, working away behind the counter. Her hair falling in soft curls, obscuring my view of her face as she looked down at the project in front of her. My fingers itched to reach out and push her hair behind her ear.
I longed to touch her in reaction to that pull again.
The door closed behind me causing the bell to ring and her head popped up to greet her new customer.
Her mouth opened to speak then she stopped before a sound came out. A blush fanned across her neck and face. Deep in her eyes, even from this distance, I swear I saw a flicker of lust, happiness, relief?
“Bella.” I broke the silence.
“Edward, what… what are you doing here? How did you….” She hurried out the words, flustered and nervous all of a sudden. Her blush deepened.
“I was afraid you wouldn’t speak to me if I called. I don’t mean to corner you, but we need to talk.”
Bella looked back down, still holding the documents she’d been working on when I came in. She scrunched the pages in her hands, then smoothed them back out on the counter. Nervously fumbling, I strode over to her and gently laid my hands across hers, effectively stilling her movements.
A spark jolted between us, and we both jumped slightly at the contact.
“I’ll leave if you want me to, but I beg of you, please, please just give me a chance.”
As I spoke, she looked up to meet my gaze. “OK. Coffee? I have a break in 20 minutes. There’s a coffee shop around the corner. I’ll meet you there.”
My heart began to beat faster than I thought possible as the exhilaration and glee ran through my body. I nodded my acceptance as I was finding it hard to form an actual word, then I turned and almost skipped out of the store.
Twenty minutes. I had twenty minutes to pull my shit together, calm the fuck down and prepare for the conversation that had to win Bella over.
She was giving me a chance. That alone was more than I could have hoped.
I danced back to the car, noting the lack of ticket on the windshield, and climbed in to locate a more permanent parking spot. The old girl started up for me once more, and I made a mental note to treat her to an oil change in the very near future.
~
Nineteen minutes later I glanced at my watch for the 50th time and nervously mixed another packet of sugar into my coffee.
I’d questioned the barista to see if she knew ‘Bella from the bookstore’, and when she had, I’d asked her to prepare Bella’s usual as well as a drip coffee for myself. I now sat in one of four large brown leather armchairs placed neatly around a low wooden table at the back of the coffee shop.
The corner afforded some privacy away from the rest of the patrons, yet from my spot I still had a clear view of the door.
Right on time the door opened, and a stream of sunlight poured in splashing across the floor and counter. Through the light came the most pleasing sight known to mankind, or at least that was my take on the view unfolding in front of me.
I stood to gain her attention and waved her over to our table.
Watching her walk towards me with a hesitant smile on her face was like heaven. Eddie Jr.
thought it to be more like internet porn and sprang to attention to greet her.
I gave myself a mental pat on the back for remembering to wear underwear, at least it kept him under control somewhat.
Bella made her way over and with a quiet, but friendly ‘hello’, slid into the armchair opposite mine. I gestured towards the latte and the oatmeal raisin cookie placed in front of the chair next to me and pushed them towards her before sitting back down.
“How did you know what I order here?” she questioned, with a slight hint of concern in her voice.
“The girl behind the counter, I asked if she knew you. She did.”
“Oh, right, Jessica… of course.” She answered. “And how did you know where to find me?”
“The paper you left, with your number. You’d written it on your work schedule.”
“Ahh, right, that’s where that went.” She sounded relieved that I wasn’t stalking her.
A silence fell over the table, but unlike the silences of last week, this quickly became awkward. I combed my mind for the right words to start the conversation I so desperately needed to have with her, but she beat me to it.
“So, Edward, not that I’m upset to see you, but what are you doing here?”
Talk about diving right in on the questioning.
“I had to see you again Bella. You asked me to wait a week, I did, but I couldn’t wait any longer.”
I couldn’t bring myself to look her in the eye and instead looked down into my coffee while fiddling with a napkin, tearing the edges over and over.
“Wow, OK… Edward, I’m not just some booty call that you can come calling on when you feel the need.”
How could she think that? Did she really think I was here for a booty call?
“Bella, that’s not why I’m…” I began, but was cut off from saying more. I lifted my head in surprise and found myself looking into the deepest pools of chocolate brown.
She locked her gaze on mine, and I watched as a flurry of emotions crossed her face. “Last week that wasn’t me. I don’t do that. I’ve never done something like that before in my life. But I was needy, it had been way too long since I’d… well, since I’d… you know.”
I nodded but didn’t respond. Boy did I know.
A few moments passed, she took a sip of coffee. The red of her lips as she brought the cup up to her mouth sent waves of desire through my whole body and caused a dance party to start in my pants.
The mix of feelings was overpowering, the lust causing my physical reactions and the honesty spilling from Bella’s lips causing my brain to swim.
“I had made a, well I guess a kind of bet with Alice, the girl on the train with me. I told her that I’d have the next man that paid any form of attention to me.” she continued, “I know, that sounds awful. And honestly I never thought I’d go through with it. But then you were the next man… and well, I just acted out of character.”
If I thought I was confused with this whole situation for the past week, that confusion had nothing on what I felt now.
Was I a bet that was never meant to be?
As Bella continued, I wanted to reach over and capture her hands in mine. Let her know wordlessly that I knew she wasn’t that kind of girl, I’d felt it too, whatever it was.
“When I woke up with you I got scared, I wanted to run. But something was stopping me from cutting the cord altogether.”
“That’s why you left your number?” I asked, as the realization that she was as confused as I began to set in.
“I just needed to go, needed to figure out what had happened.”
“Bella, may I cut in?”
She nodded and moved further back into her chair, curling her legs up underneath her and wrapping both her tiny hands around the warm coffee as if to draw heat and comfort from it.
“I’m not that kind of guy either. I can promise you that. Everything that happened was purely from the draw we both felt, and I know you felt it too.”
Bella gave a small nod and looked back down into her coffee.
Taking a deep breath, I continued. “Bella, please give me a chance. Let me do this the right way. Don’t you think we should at least try?”
Bella surprised me again by answering my question softly but with passion. “Yes. Yes, I do think we should try. But Edward, I’m scared. I’ve been hurt before.”
My body moved of its own accord as I stood from my seat to move closer. I sank to my knees in front of her, taking her drink from her and placing it on the table, I took both her hands in mine. I looked up into her almond shaped eyes and relished in the surge of energy passing between us. The pull I felt to kiss her was immense, but I couldn’t abuse the trust she was giving me.
Keeping a hold of her tiny hand, I moved up to push her hair back from her face, using the back of my hand. I kept the contact longer than I should, but it was hard to pull back.
“Bella,” I began, “I’ve been hurt too. I’ve held back from allowing myself any kind of relationship since. Until I met you. Please give me a chance?”
Bella pulled my hand towards her lips and placed a chaste kiss on my knuckles. My skin broke out in goosebumps, the heat passing to the tip of every limb.
“I will give you - give us - a chance. Just don’t hurt me, that’s all I ask.”
“I won’t. I’ll do everything in my power not to.” I promised her.
I moved back into the chair next to her, and we kept the contact through our knees touching.
Finishing our coffees and sharing the cookie, we made small talk about the past week and secured plans for dinner the following night.
We didn’t bring up the events of last week again at all.
Twenty five minutes later, she had to leave to get back to the book store.
I wrestled between pulling her in for a passionate kiss goodbye and simply placing a small kiss on her cheek. With regret, I chose the latter.
As my lips touched her skin, I felt the heat wash over her and saw the blush rise from her chest and spread across her cheeks. The color looked so beautiful on her. It was the same color her skin turned when she came. And anything that reminded me of that was sublime.
Anything that reminded Eddie Jr. of that on the other hand was enough to make him attempt a jailbreak through my zipper.
If I was going to take this slowly, I was going to have to get him under control.
Bella broke our hold and started towards the door.
“Thanks for the coffee Edward, I’ll see you tomorrow at 7?”
“Yes, seven… I’ll be there.” I smiled and watched her leave. My smile growing larger by the second as the realization that she had said yes set in.
I drove home in a daze. I was actually surprised to find myself digging through my freezer looking for something to eat. I couldn’t remember how I’d gotten there.
Throwing a Hot Pocket in the microwave and grabbing a beer, I sat at the kitchen counter and went over the last few hours in my head. They’d gone better than I could have hoped.
Now I just had to get through the next 24 hours and I’d see her again.
I stumbled through the evening, watching TV, surfing the internet… anything to keep my mind off Bella. But nothing worked. By 9 p.m. I called it a night. The afternoon had been an exhausting roller coaster of emotions.
As my head hit the pillow, my last thought before I drifted to sleep was of Bella.
She was going to give me a chance.
I hadn’t been convinced that I could wait that long, so I’d thrown the scrap of paper in my open and empty safe and slammed the door shut sealing it in and avoiding temptation. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have had the ability or the strength to give her a week. If I had any chance at winning her over I had to do as she asked.
So today, one painfully long week later I’d called a few clients, changed my schedule a little and arranged to leave work early. I’d made it back to my apartment by 3 p.m. I now sat on the edge of my bed. My eyes squeezed shut in frustration, eyebrows knotted together and my hands buried in my hair. Any more force and I’d be pulling handfuls out.
What the fuck was the code to my damn safe?
Over the last hour I’d tried every set of numbers I thought it could possibly be. I was about to give up and drink myself straight through Friday and into the weekend when it clicked.
08*02*08
That was the date I’d helpfully suggested to Rose that she would be better off leaving our apartment forever. With my expected level of distrust with her, I’d changed the combination that day.
Clicking through the combination and turning the knob as fast as I could, I pulled open the door grabbing the only thing occupying the cold space -- a small crumpled piece of paper. Smoothing the paper out across my thigh, I saw Bella’s untidy handwriting spelling out her full name and a phone number.
I flipped the paper over in my fingers deciding on my next step. I’d had a week to think about it, but I was as clueless in this moment as I had been the minute she’d stepped out of my front door.
As the paper turned in my hand, I noticed a familiar logo on the other side.
Little Brown Bookstore.
I knew that place, a cute little antiquated store across town. I’d spent many hours browsing the shelves for hidden gems. Thinking about it now, I realized I hadn’t been there in a while.
Looking closer I saw a work schedule of some kind under the image. It wasn’t just any work schedule – it was Bella’s work schedule. And according to this, she’s working right now.
This changed my options dramatically.
If I call her she can ignore my calls. If I see her face to face she has to at least listen to me. Doesn’t she?
With my mind made up I grabbed a clean t-shirt and a pair of jeans from the closet and changed out of my work clothes. Checking my appearance in the bathroom mirror, I ran wet hands through my hair to restore a small amount of control back into it.
Grabbing my wallet and keys, I raced out of the apartment down to the parking garage below.
Slipping behind the wheel of my car, I threw the keys in the ignition and closed my eyes, willing the engine to start. I found a silent prayer often helped.
I didn’t use my old station wagon during the work week anymore, and I always forgot to start her and let her run for a little while, like I should. She was temperamental and I should treat her better. I’d bought her used with my savings when I was 16, and I couldn’t even think of parting with her… but owning a car while living in the city just frustrated me.
I preferred now to walk, to catch the train… I liked to people watch. People fascinated me, and people watching and driving don’t go hand in hand.
But today, I wanted to get to my destination as quickly as I could. Thankfully the engine roared to life on my first attempt. See, how could I part with her faithfulness?
I made my way out of the garage, ignoring the huge oil stain the car revealed as I left my designated spot, and headed in the direction of the bookstore and the woman of my dreams.
Eddie Jr. jumped at the mere thought. I had to remind him he likely wouldn’t get any action any time soon.
Twenty minutes and seventeen red lights later, I circled the block looking for a spot to park. I’d passed by the store front a few times now and each time stolen a glance through the window. The darkened interior didn’t allow me to see much past the display in the window.
My heart was beating faster and the death grip I had on the steering wheel at the thought of seeing Bella again soon was doing nothing for my sweaty palms.
After a further five minutes searching, I had no more patience left and abandoned the car in a 15 minute drop off only zone. I secretly hoped for a ticket – because a ticket would mean she’d let me stay longer than I could even hope for at this point.
Gathering every ounce of confidence that I could, which wasn’t much at this point, I turned towards the store front.
The fear of the unknown was killing me.
I stood outside and watched an elderly gentleman enter and moments later a harassed looking woman in her 30s with three children, all who looked to be under school age, leave.
The door seemed to be working just fine, so why wasn’t I using it?
A final nudge, and I took two long strides, pushed the door open and then I stopped dead in my tracks.
There she was.
She looked even more exquisite than I had dared to remember.
Bella was no more than ten feet from me, working away behind the counter. Her hair falling in soft curls, obscuring my view of her face as she looked down at the project in front of her. My fingers itched to reach out and push her hair behind her ear.
I longed to touch her in reaction to that pull again.
The door closed behind me causing the bell to ring and her head popped up to greet her new customer.
Her mouth opened to speak then she stopped before a sound came out. A blush fanned across her neck and face. Deep in her eyes, even from this distance, I swear I saw a flicker of lust, happiness, relief?
“Bella.” I broke the silence.
“Edward, what… what are you doing here? How did you….” She hurried out the words, flustered and nervous all of a sudden. Her blush deepened.
“I was afraid you wouldn’t speak to me if I called. I don’t mean to corner you, but we need to talk.”
Bella looked back down, still holding the documents she’d been working on when I came in. She scrunched the pages in her hands, then smoothed them back out on the counter. Nervously fumbling, I strode over to her and gently laid my hands across hers, effectively stilling her movements.
A spark jolted between us, and we both jumped slightly at the contact.
“I’ll leave if you want me to, but I beg of you, please, please just give me a chance.”
As I spoke, she looked up to meet my gaze. “OK. Coffee? I have a break in 20 minutes. There’s a coffee shop around the corner. I’ll meet you there.”
My heart began to beat faster than I thought possible as the exhilaration and glee ran through my body. I nodded my acceptance as I was finding it hard to form an actual word, then I turned and almost skipped out of the store.
Twenty minutes. I had twenty minutes to pull my shit together, calm the fuck down and prepare for the conversation that had to win Bella over.
She was giving me a chance. That alone was more than I could have hoped.
I danced back to the car, noting the lack of ticket on the windshield, and climbed in to locate a more permanent parking spot. The old girl started up for me once more, and I made a mental note to treat her to an oil change in the very near future.
~
Nineteen minutes later I glanced at my watch for the 50th time and nervously mixed another packet of sugar into my coffee.
I’d questioned the barista to see if she knew ‘Bella from the bookstore’, and when she had, I’d asked her to prepare Bella’s usual as well as a drip coffee for myself. I now sat in one of four large brown leather armchairs placed neatly around a low wooden table at the back of the coffee shop.
The corner afforded some privacy away from the rest of the patrons, yet from my spot I still had a clear view of the door.
Right on time the door opened, and a stream of sunlight poured in splashing across the floor and counter. Through the light came the most pleasing sight known to mankind, or at least that was my take on the view unfolding in front of me.
I stood to gain her attention and waved her over to our table.
Watching her walk towards me with a hesitant smile on her face was like heaven. Eddie Jr.
thought it to be more like internet porn and sprang to attention to greet her.
I gave myself a mental pat on the back for remembering to wear underwear, at least it kept him under control somewhat.
Bella made her way over and with a quiet, but friendly ‘hello’, slid into the armchair opposite mine. I gestured towards the latte and the oatmeal raisin cookie placed in front of the chair next to me and pushed them towards her before sitting back down.
“How did you know what I order here?” she questioned, with a slight hint of concern in her voice.
“The girl behind the counter, I asked if she knew you. She did.”
“Oh, right, Jessica… of course.” She answered. “And how did you know where to find me?”
“The paper you left, with your number. You’d written it on your work schedule.”
“Ahh, right, that’s where that went.” She sounded relieved that I wasn’t stalking her.
A silence fell over the table, but unlike the silences of last week, this quickly became awkward. I combed my mind for the right words to start the conversation I so desperately needed to have with her, but she beat me to it.
“So, Edward, not that I’m upset to see you, but what are you doing here?”
Talk about diving right in on the questioning.
“I had to see you again Bella. You asked me to wait a week, I did, but I couldn’t wait any longer.”
I couldn’t bring myself to look her in the eye and instead looked down into my coffee while fiddling with a napkin, tearing the edges over and over.
“Wow, OK… Edward, I’m not just some booty call that you can come calling on when you feel the need.”
How could she think that? Did she really think I was here for a booty call?
“Bella, that’s not why I’m…” I began, but was cut off from saying more. I lifted my head in surprise and found myself looking into the deepest pools of chocolate brown.
She locked her gaze on mine, and I watched as a flurry of emotions crossed her face. “Last week that wasn’t me. I don’t do that. I’ve never done something like that before in my life. But I was needy, it had been way too long since I’d… well, since I’d… you know.”
I nodded but didn’t respond. Boy did I know.
A few moments passed, she took a sip of coffee. The red of her lips as she brought the cup up to her mouth sent waves of desire through my whole body and caused a dance party to start in my pants.
The mix of feelings was overpowering, the lust causing my physical reactions and the honesty spilling from Bella’s lips causing my brain to swim.
“I had made a, well I guess a kind of bet with Alice, the girl on the train with me. I told her that I’d have the next man that paid any form of attention to me.” she continued, “I know, that sounds awful. And honestly I never thought I’d go through with it. But then you were the next man… and well, I just acted out of character.”
If I thought I was confused with this whole situation for the past week, that confusion had nothing on what I felt now.
Was I a bet that was never meant to be?
As Bella continued, I wanted to reach over and capture her hands in mine. Let her know wordlessly that I knew she wasn’t that kind of girl, I’d felt it too, whatever it was.
“When I woke up with you I got scared, I wanted to run. But something was stopping me from cutting the cord altogether.”
“That’s why you left your number?” I asked, as the realization that she was as confused as I began to set in.
“I just needed to go, needed to figure out what had happened.”
“Bella, may I cut in?”
She nodded and moved further back into her chair, curling her legs up underneath her and wrapping both her tiny hands around the warm coffee as if to draw heat and comfort from it.
“I’m not that kind of guy either. I can promise you that. Everything that happened was purely from the draw we both felt, and I know you felt it too.”
Bella gave a small nod and looked back down into her coffee.
Taking a deep breath, I continued. “Bella, please give me a chance. Let me do this the right way. Don’t you think we should at least try?”
Bella surprised me again by answering my question softly but with passion. “Yes. Yes, I do think we should try. But Edward, I’m scared. I’ve been hurt before.”
My body moved of its own accord as I stood from my seat to move closer. I sank to my knees in front of her, taking her drink from her and placing it on the table, I took both her hands in mine. I looked up into her almond shaped eyes and relished in the surge of energy passing between us. The pull I felt to kiss her was immense, but I couldn’t abuse the trust she was giving me.
Keeping a hold of her tiny hand, I moved up to push her hair back from her face, using the back of my hand. I kept the contact longer than I should, but it was hard to pull back.
“Bella,” I began, “I’ve been hurt too. I’ve held back from allowing myself any kind of relationship since. Until I met you. Please give me a chance?”
Bella pulled my hand towards her lips and placed a chaste kiss on my knuckles. My skin broke out in goosebumps, the heat passing to the tip of every limb.
“I will give you - give us - a chance. Just don’t hurt me, that’s all I ask.”
“I won’t. I’ll do everything in my power not to.” I promised her.
I moved back into the chair next to her, and we kept the contact through our knees touching.
Finishing our coffees and sharing the cookie, we made small talk about the past week and secured plans for dinner the following night.
We didn’t bring up the events of last week again at all.
Twenty five minutes later, she had to leave to get back to the book store.
I wrestled between pulling her in for a passionate kiss goodbye and simply placing a small kiss on her cheek. With regret, I chose the latter.
As my lips touched her skin, I felt the heat wash over her and saw the blush rise from her chest and spread across her cheeks. The color looked so beautiful on her. It was the same color her skin turned when she came. And anything that reminded me of that was sublime.
Anything that reminded Eddie Jr. of that on the other hand was enough to make him attempt a jailbreak through my zipper.
If I was going to take this slowly, I was going to have to get him under control.
Bella broke our hold and started towards the door.
“Thanks for the coffee Edward, I’ll see you tomorrow at 7?”
“Yes, seven… I’ll be there.” I smiled and watched her leave. My smile growing larger by the second as the realization that she had said yes set in.
I drove home in a daze. I was actually surprised to find myself digging through my freezer looking for something to eat. I couldn’t remember how I’d gotten there.
Throwing a Hot Pocket in the microwave and grabbing a beer, I sat at the kitchen counter and went over the last few hours in my head. They’d gone better than I could have hoped.
Now I just had to get through the next 24 hours and I’d see her again.
I stumbled through the evening, watching TV, surfing the internet… anything to keep my mind off Bella. But nothing worked. By 9 p.m. I called it a night. The afternoon had been an exhausting roller coaster of emotions.
As my head hit the pillow, my last thought before I drifted to sleep was of Bella.
She was going to give me a chance.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Chapter Two - Pompoms and Trophies
EPOV
We had spent the rest of the afternoon wordlessly exploring each other’s bodies and working towards the goal I’d uttered in my post coital bliss. We’d christened almost every surface in my home and plowed our way through a whole box of condoms. The foil wrappers now strewn around the apartment like little shiny trophies.
I had been half serious when I suggested the need to go for it 572 times more. I had been completely serious with the thought of making sure this, whatever this was, continued with Bella.
With this beautiful woman now sleeping peacefully beside me.
I could feel her shallow breath on my neck, the rise and fall of her chest against my side. Her hair spread across my shoulder, falling haphazardly onto the pillow. A slice of afternoon sun streaming in through the blinds in the window and across her hair forced a thousand shades of brown to radiate.
Since when did I count the shades in a person’s hair?
She truly was beautiful.
The gentle slope of her hips as they disappeared under the dark sheets, the contrast of her pale skin against the bedding. Her tiny hand resting gently below my stomach where she’d been softly twirling the hair there in her fingertips before she’d fallen asleep. The indentations above her collar bones were only hours before I’d laid a million kisses and minute bites as I’d felt her hands wandering over my body.
Every inch of what lay beside me was undeniably striking.
There was certainly an immense physical attraction. We’re stating the obvious with that. We’d known each other for no more than eight hours and here she was sleeping so peacefully in my bed, and it felt so right.
Nothing had ever felt this right.
Even with this perfect scene playing out around me the ‘oh shit’ factor was settling into my stomach. The ‘what next’ question running laps in my head.
What do I say to her once she awakens? Would the awkward silences commence? Will Eddie Jr. still feel the need to perform? Will he get that chance?
We’d barely spoken except for a few short snippets but none had been awkward. I wanted anything but awkward, but knew deep down it was inevitable.
As I lay listening to her sleep I ran through a hundred scenarios of what could, or more to the point, what should happen once she awoke. Just as I began rehearsing lines in my head for scenario number one hundred and one I felt her stir at my side.
Bella slowly opened her eyes, raising her head a fraction from my chest to take in her surroundings. She quickly closed her eyes once more and rolled onto her back, her head slamming onto the pillow next to mine.
“Shit” she murmured, so quietly I barely heard her.
I immediately felt the loss of her skin against mine, but not wanting to freak her out any more than she obviously was, I stayed still, staring at her profile.
Without re-opening her eyes she spoke in a quiet whisper, “Hi, so… erm, is this gonna be weird? Should I just sneak out? Stay for coffee? Dinner? Oh, God, I can’t believe I’m in this predicament. You have to understand, this is not something I…”
“Bella, shhh. It’s OK. This doesn’t have to be weird. And I know, this is not something I do either. You can open your eyes though. Please?”
She turned her head slowly towards me and opened her right eye, cautiously peeping out at me through her long dark lashes. A small giggle left her as she opened her other eye and took in the sight before her.
“I’m sorry," she laughed, “but your hair, I mean, it’s…”
“You’re talking about my hair?”
“Um, yeah, I guess I am.” She replied, the amusement still in her voice.
“So, I guess if my hair breaks the awkwardness of the moment, that’s a good thing? What’s so funny about it anyway?”
“Oh, nothing it’s just stuck up every which way, it was so perfect a few hours ago. I would have almost described it as a bit bouffanty actually.” As she spoke she rolled onto her side and reached over, attempting to smooth the unruly mass residing on my head. A task I knew to be impossible without copious amounts of hair products.
This was not one of the one hundred and one scenarios I’d had circulating through my head, but I certainly liked this one so far.
My eyes were instantly drawn to her breasts as she rolled towards me, gently smushing them together giving her the illusion of being more endowed than she actually was. Add in to the equation the feeling of her hand in my hair and the lust was boiling back up to the surface. Fast.
Without realizing it my hand had moved to touch her breast, the soft mound fitting perfectly into my palm. I rolled towards her and softly pulled her in to meet my lips.
I placed a small kiss, then another and another on her inviting lips. The feeling of her whole body pressed against mine sent chills throughout me and welcomed goose bumps to spread rapidly across my skin.
Tentatively, I pushed the tip of my tongue against her mouth, requesting entry. My whole body celebrating when she once again allowed me in. Our tongues danced intimately together, swirling and exploring against each other.
My hands roamed the gentle curves of her body, almost forcefully pulling her closer to me. Her hands tangled in the hair at the nape of my neck and roamed feverishly over my back and shoulders.
Eddie Jr. stood to attention, anticipating our next move, pressing against her belly waiting anxiously for his turn.
Then as quickly as it had turned to the hottest of hot, it turned to ice. Her body tensed as she pushed away from my embrace.
Before I could even register what was happening I found myself staring at Bella’s back as she sat on the edge of the bed with the sheets wrapped tightly around her.
“I, um, I can’t do this” she whispered, almost too softly for me to hear.
“Do what, what can’t you do Bella?” my voice sounded desperate as I willed for this to not be happening right now.
“This Edward, I can’t do this.” She said as she waved her hand around the mess that was the sexed up room. “I can’t spend the day having meaningless sex with a guy I just met and just be okay with that. I can’t do it. I honestly don’t know why I came here.”
Meaningless sex?
“Where is this coming from, what’s this sudden change of heart?” I rambled, words just falling out of my mouth. “Stay, please stay, let’s talk about this.”
Bella stood silently, gathering her clothes that had been strewn around the bedroom in our haste earlier. She walked over to the bathroom, still wrapped in the sheet and gave me a sad smile as she closed the door behind her.
What the fuck just happened?
Eddie Jr. was not pleased. He’d been semi hard getting ready for another round before this turn of events.
But more than the disappointment now dangling between my legs, my whole being felt lost and devastated. She can’t leave. I cannot let her go.
But kidnapping… yeah, that doesn’t seem right. Does it? For a split second it seemed like the only way.
Damn it, of course it’s wrong. Jeez Cullen, are you seriously even contemplating that?
Jumping up I threw on some jeans and an old white t-shirt and left the bedroom to give Bella some privacy.
Flopping down on the couch I closed my eyes and lay my head back listening to her move around in the next room. Knowing that I couldn’t lose her as quickly as I’d found her I resolved to at least get her number, e-mail, last name, something. We can start again, start fresh. Do this the ‘right’ way if that’s what she needs. I had to try something. I’d find what the ‘right’ way needs to be.
This pleased Eddie Jr. Hope was not lost for him.
A few moments later she walked out towards me looking shy and regretful. I didn’t want her to regret anything.
What had happened today was pure physical attraction on both parts, but I felt the deeper connection too. And I know she did. I saw the look in her eyes when, cheesy at it sounds, sparks flew when we had first touched on the train. I know she felt it too.
I stood from the couch and walked slowly towards her.
“Bella” I started with confidence, “I don’t know what happened in there just now. I do know that I don’t want to…”
“Edward, please… don’t.”
“No, please. Let me finish. I do know that I don’t want you to walk out that door and then I never see you again. I do know that I’ll do whatever it takes, whatever you need, to give this, to give us a chance.” I finished with less confidence and sounded more like I was begging.
In all truth I was. If I needed to beg, then so be it.
I hung my head, my hair falling down across my eyes and waited for a response.
After what seemed like an eternity, she finally spoke. “Edward, I need to think this over. I need to figure this out. Give me a week or something, just let me have some time. Please?”
She took the final few steps towards me, pressed a scrap of paper into my hand and reached up on her toes to place a small feather light kiss on my chin. With that, she gathered her jacket and bag, and walked out my front door.
I instinctively reached up and placed my fingertips on my chin as I watched her leave. The buzz was still there, the last place she’d touched me.
The door closed and I turned the paper over in my hand.
The messiest handwriting I’d ever seen simply stated her full name and a number. It was better than nothing, I could accept that, but why did I feel so empty?
The next week was painful.
I quickly recovered from my ‘sickness’ and went back to work the next day. Unfortunately work did nothing to keep my mind off Bella. My mind being on Bella did nothing for the almost constant hard on I was now sporting.
Half naked women with beautiful bodies would pass me at the gym and nothing, just like those 572 days. A one half second thought of Bella and the pressure in my pants was excruciating. It seemed Eddie Jr. had a one track mind… Bella.
So the week was painful in my pants, but it was also painful in the gaping loss I felt.
How was this normal? Is this what love was? Or was this lust? I know I had loved Rosalie once, but I don’t remember feelings and emotions like this being involved. Not even close. Had I ever really loved Rosalie? I began to question that.
But more so I questioned over and over again what was happening to me in regards to Bella. I had never felt so alone. Even in the days following my surprise entertainment courtesy of Emmett and Rosalie I’d felt better – and that event had dissolved my marriage.
The one thing I knew for certain was that I was going to do everything in my power to make Bella mine. To make her see what I saw. To make her feel what I felt. Something had thrown us together, and I had to make sure it stuck.
BPOV
It had been a week since my blissful day with Edward. I hadn’t seen him, spoken with him, or made any contact with him in those seven days.
But I was saving myself from the inevitable heartache. Love at first sight… pffft… it’s what fairytales are made of and I’m not fortunate enough to live that kind of life.
But I felt lost, alone and completely confused.
After I’d left his apartment, I’d caught the train home to the small house on the outskirts of town I shared with Alice. She had bounced around uncontrollably when she’d heard be come in the door and wrapping her arms around me she’d congratulated me on the end of my dry spell. Apparently I had an aura of sex flowing around me. I hadn’t showered before I left so I took that as a polite way of saying “You smell like sex Bella”… nice!
That’s what friends are for!
Once I’d showered, changed into comfies and dragged myself back down stairs Alice was ready for every ounce of information from the hours before. Like old times we’d loaded up with ice cream and wine and curled ourselves on the couch while I gave her the details. Or at least I tried to give her the details.
But I couldn’t, I didn’t know what I was describing. It wasn’t merely a fun filled day of hot sex with a random stranger. But what exactly was it?
I’d gone to bed that night more puzzled than before and I hadn’t slept a wink. Just thinking about how it had felt when I touched him sent tingles through every part of my body to my fingertips.
My week had continued as it normally would except for the fact that I kind of plodded through my shifts at the small bookstore I worked at. My mind clearly elsewhere. I had thought back to that day a million times trying to figure out what it all meant.
***
I had woken to an unfamiliar, but not unpleasant smell. Soap, sex, a little bit if spice and man. My mind had been running on overtime reminding me where I was and what that delicious smell was. I had kept my eyes closed while I took it all in and I thought about the hours leading up to my afternoon nap.
I had remembered the hot, intimate, crazy sex we’d had in every corner of his huge apartment. I had remembered the pleasure, the intensity and willingness to be with a man who’d I’d known for only a few hours. I’d remembered the ease of being with him, the overwhelming feeling to nurture him when the damn cat had pounced and clawed his skin, then the immense urge to feel him inside me only a split second later.
I had known then that the whole thing was strange, it wasn’t a predicament I’d normally find myself in, but I had really wanted it to be OK. I had really wanted to figure out what the crazy attraction was all about. Feelings like those were not normal.
As I had lain there against his body, pretending to still be sleeping, I had given myself a pep talk. The pompoms had been brought out in full force. I, Bella Swan, could do this had been chanted a few times in my head.
I’d stretched a little, pressing my body against his long lean torso before opening my eyes to see what waited for me.
As soon as I’d laid my eyes on him I had pushed myself away, the lack of contact had registered immediately.
“Shit.” The word had spilled out before I could stop it. Maybe I couldn’t do this. I wasn’t ‘that’ kind of girl.
OK, pompoms back out and the pep talk had continued… you CAN do this Bella. It’s OK. Nothing to be ashamed of. Just talk to him.
That’s when I’d started rambling, going on about the whole thing being awkward and staying for dinner and all kinds of shit. I’d had no idea what I was doing. I’d just needed to desperately relax.
I’d slowly turned my head back towards him and peered through one eye, then two and that was it, the church giggles had started, effectively hiding my nervousness. It had really not been the appropriate time to laugh, but once I’d gotten a good look at that man's hair! When I’d seen him on the train I’d been quite perplexed by the ultra neat way his hair was perfectly styled into some overgrown bouffant. But it had suited him. It worked.
But there it was, sticking up in every direction possible. It was 50% hilarious and 50% pure hot sex.
While explaining the meaning behind my laughter I hadn’t been able to stop myself from reaching out and touching him, attempting to smooth the unruly hair back into some sort of order. I had felt all the nervous tension and awkwardness leave my body as I had once again made contact with him.
He’d immediately responded to my touch, his hand had found my breast once again and he had rolled towards me planting a chaste kiss on my lips. My skin had felt on fire with the contact, yet with the burn came the chills. One kiss had led to another and as his lips and hands had become frantic, he’d pulled me towards him holding me tight.
That’s when I felt it.
Felt his arousal pressing against my belly.
That’s when I’d realized what I was doing and made the drastic switch to “I can’t do this”.
I’d rambled off some excuse, he’d begged me to stay and talk about it. I’d rambled off more excuses, slipped into his bathroom to dress then geared myself up to leave.
But there was a tiny part of me that couldn’t just give in and forget it all. Staring at myself in the mirror I had come to the conclusion that giving myself some time to think about it would answer all the questions swimming in my head.
Jotting my number down on a scrap of paper from my purse, I’d made my way out into the living room. He’d begged me to stay once again, his voice getting more anxious as he spoke, but I’d stuck to my plan. Pushing the paper into his hand I’d reached up to place what I knew was the last kiss we’d ever share on his chin then I’d turned and left.
And didn't look back.
***
Now as I stood behind the counter busying myself with the stock order, I found myself thinking it over once again. I was no closer to knowing what I wanted.
I’d left it in his hands though. I no longer felt like it was my choice to make. It was his choice now and I would accept the outcome.
He’d done as I’d asked and hadn’t contacted me that week, but I’m sure by now he’d forgotten about that day. Or at least placed it in his ‘Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt’ folder.
I’d file it away there, too. That was my resolve.
As I typed the book order into the antiquated computer I heard the bells tied to the door handle ring and looked up to find myself staring straight into the same green eyes that had captivated me a week ago.
“Bella.” Edward acknowledged with a slight nod of his head.
After hearing the gravelly sex of his voice, the resolve I’d had left and the feelings of lust came flooding back.
I was toast.
We had spent the rest of the afternoon wordlessly exploring each other’s bodies and working towards the goal I’d uttered in my post coital bliss. We’d christened almost every surface in my home and plowed our way through a whole box of condoms. The foil wrappers now strewn around the apartment like little shiny trophies.
I had been half serious when I suggested the need to go for it 572 times more. I had been completely serious with the thought of making sure this, whatever this was, continued with Bella.
With this beautiful woman now sleeping peacefully beside me.
I could feel her shallow breath on my neck, the rise and fall of her chest against my side. Her hair spread across my shoulder, falling haphazardly onto the pillow. A slice of afternoon sun streaming in through the blinds in the window and across her hair forced a thousand shades of brown to radiate.
Since when did I count the shades in a person’s hair?
She truly was beautiful.
The gentle slope of her hips as they disappeared under the dark sheets, the contrast of her pale skin against the bedding. Her tiny hand resting gently below my stomach where she’d been softly twirling the hair there in her fingertips before she’d fallen asleep. The indentations above her collar bones were only hours before I’d laid a million kisses and minute bites as I’d felt her hands wandering over my body.
Every inch of what lay beside me was undeniably striking.
There was certainly an immense physical attraction. We’re stating the obvious with that. We’d known each other for no more than eight hours and here she was sleeping so peacefully in my bed, and it felt so right.
Nothing had ever felt this right.
Even with this perfect scene playing out around me the ‘oh shit’ factor was settling into my stomach. The ‘what next’ question running laps in my head.
What do I say to her once she awakens? Would the awkward silences commence? Will Eddie Jr. still feel the need to perform? Will he get that chance?
We’d barely spoken except for a few short snippets but none had been awkward. I wanted anything but awkward, but knew deep down it was inevitable.
As I lay listening to her sleep I ran through a hundred scenarios of what could, or more to the point, what should happen once she awoke. Just as I began rehearsing lines in my head for scenario number one hundred and one I felt her stir at my side.
Bella slowly opened her eyes, raising her head a fraction from my chest to take in her surroundings. She quickly closed her eyes once more and rolled onto her back, her head slamming onto the pillow next to mine.
“Shit” she murmured, so quietly I barely heard her.
I immediately felt the loss of her skin against mine, but not wanting to freak her out any more than she obviously was, I stayed still, staring at her profile.
Without re-opening her eyes she spoke in a quiet whisper, “Hi, so… erm, is this gonna be weird? Should I just sneak out? Stay for coffee? Dinner? Oh, God, I can’t believe I’m in this predicament. You have to understand, this is not something I…”
“Bella, shhh. It’s OK. This doesn’t have to be weird. And I know, this is not something I do either. You can open your eyes though. Please?”
She turned her head slowly towards me and opened her right eye, cautiously peeping out at me through her long dark lashes. A small giggle left her as she opened her other eye and took in the sight before her.
“I’m sorry," she laughed, “but your hair, I mean, it’s…”
“You’re talking about my hair?”
“Um, yeah, I guess I am.” She replied, the amusement still in her voice.
“So, I guess if my hair breaks the awkwardness of the moment, that’s a good thing? What’s so funny about it anyway?”
“Oh, nothing it’s just stuck up every which way, it was so perfect a few hours ago. I would have almost described it as a bit bouffanty actually.” As she spoke she rolled onto her side and reached over, attempting to smooth the unruly mass residing on my head. A task I knew to be impossible without copious amounts of hair products.
This was not one of the one hundred and one scenarios I’d had circulating through my head, but I certainly liked this one so far.
My eyes were instantly drawn to her breasts as she rolled towards me, gently smushing them together giving her the illusion of being more endowed than she actually was. Add in to the equation the feeling of her hand in my hair and the lust was boiling back up to the surface. Fast.
Without realizing it my hand had moved to touch her breast, the soft mound fitting perfectly into my palm. I rolled towards her and softly pulled her in to meet my lips.
I placed a small kiss, then another and another on her inviting lips. The feeling of her whole body pressed against mine sent chills throughout me and welcomed goose bumps to spread rapidly across my skin.
Tentatively, I pushed the tip of my tongue against her mouth, requesting entry. My whole body celebrating when she once again allowed me in. Our tongues danced intimately together, swirling and exploring against each other.
My hands roamed the gentle curves of her body, almost forcefully pulling her closer to me. Her hands tangled in the hair at the nape of my neck and roamed feverishly over my back and shoulders.
Eddie Jr. stood to attention, anticipating our next move, pressing against her belly waiting anxiously for his turn.
Then as quickly as it had turned to the hottest of hot, it turned to ice. Her body tensed as she pushed away from my embrace.
Before I could even register what was happening I found myself staring at Bella’s back as she sat on the edge of the bed with the sheets wrapped tightly around her.
“I, um, I can’t do this” she whispered, almost too softly for me to hear.
“Do what, what can’t you do Bella?” my voice sounded desperate as I willed for this to not be happening right now.
“This Edward, I can’t do this.” She said as she waved her hand around the mess that was the sexed up room. “I can’t spend the day having meaningless sex with a guy I just met and just be okay with that. I can’t do it. I honestly don’t know why I came here.”
Meaningless sex?
“Where is this coming from, what’s this sudden change of heart?” I rambled, words just falling out of my mouth. “Stay, please stay, let’s talk about this.”
Bella stood silently, gathering her clothes that had been strewn around the bedroom in our haste earlier. She walked over to the bathroom, still wrapped in the sheet and gave me a sad smile as she closed the door behind her.
What the fuck just happened?
Eddie Jr. was not pleased. He’d been semi hard getting ready for another round before this turn of events.
But more than the disappointment now dangling between my legs, my whole being felt lost and devastated. She can’t leave. I cannot let her go.
But kidnapping… yeah, that doesn’t seem right. Does it? For a split second it seemed like the only way.
Damn it, of course it’s wrong. Jeez Cullen, are you seriously even contemplating that?
Jumping up I threw on some jeans and an old white t-shirt and left the bedroom to give Bella some privacy.
Flopping down on the couch I closed my eyes and lay my head back listening to her move around in the next room. Knowing that I couldn’t lose her as quickly as I’d found her I resolved to at least get her number, e-mail, last name, something. We can start again, start fresh. Do this the ‘right’ way if that’s what she needs. I had to try something. I’d find what the ‘right’ way needs to be.
This pleased Eddie Jr. Hope was not lost for him.
A few moments later she walked out towards me looking shy and regretful. I didn’t want her to regret anything.
What had happened today was pure physical attraction on both parts, but I felt the deeper connection too. And I know she did. I saw the look in her eyes when, cheesy at it sounds, sparks flew when we had first touched on the train. I know she felt it too.
I stood from the couch and walked slowly towards her.
“Bella” I started with confidence, “I don’t know what happened in there just now. I do know that I don’t want to…”
“Edward, please… don’t.”
“No, please. Let me finish. I do know that I don’t want you to walk out that door and then I never see you again. I do know that I’ll do whatever it takes, whatever you need, to give this, to give us a chance.” I finished with less confidence and sounded more like I was begging.
In all truth I was. If I needed to beg, then so be it.
I hung my head, my hair falling down across my eyes and waited for a response.
After what seemed like an eternity, she finally spoke. “Edward, I need to think this over. I need to figure this out. Give me a week or something, just let me have some time. Please?”
She took the final few steps towards me, pressed a scrap of paper into my hand and reached up on her toes to place a small feather light kiss on my chin. With that, she gathered her jacket and bag, and walked out my front door.
I instinctively reached up and placed my fingertips on my chin as I watched her leave. The buzz was still there, the last place she’d touched me.
The door closed and I turned the paper over in my hand.
The messiest handwriting I’d ever seen simply stated her full name and a number. It was better than nothing, I could accept that, but why did I feel so empty?
The next week was painful.
I quickly recovered from my ‘sickness’ and went back to work the next day. Unfortunately work did nothing to keep my mind off Bella. My mind being on Bella did nothing for the almost constant hard on I was now sporting.
Half naked women with beautiful bodies would pass me at the gym and nothing, just like those 572 days. A one half second thought of Bella and the pressure in my pants was excruciating. It seemed Eddie Jr. had a one track mind… Bella.
So the week was painful in my pants, but it was also painful in the gaping loss I felt.
How was this normal? Is this what love was? Or was this lust? I know I had loved Rosalie once, but I don’t remember feelings and emotions like this being involved. Not even close. Had I ever really loved Rosalie? I began to question that.
But more so I questioned over and over again what was happening to me in regards to Bella. I had never felt so alone. Even in the days following my surprise entertainment courtesy of Emmett and Rosalie I’d felt better – and that event had dissolved my marriage.
The one thing I knew for certain was that I was going to do everything in my power to make Bella mine. To make her see what I saw. To make her feel what I felt. Something had thrown us together, and I had to make sure it stuck.
BPOV
It had been a week since my blissful day with Edward. I hadn’t seen him, spoken with him, or made any contact with him in those seven days.
But I was saving myself from the inevitable heartache. Love at first sight… pffft… it’s what fairytales are made of and I’m not fortunate enough to live that kind of life.
But I felt lost, alone and completely confused.
After I’d left his apartment, I’d caught the train home to the small house on the outskirts of town I shared with Alice. She had bounced around uncontrollably when she’d heard be come in the door and wrapping her arms around me she’d congratulated me on the end of my dry spell. Apparently I had an aura of sex flowing around me. I hadn’t showered before I left so I took that as a polite way of saying “You smell like sex Bella”… nice!
That’s what friends are for!
Once I’d showered, changed into comfies and dragged myself back down stairs Alice was ready for every ounce of information from the hours before. Like old times we’d loaded up with ice cream and wine and curled ourselves on the couch while I gave her the details. Or at least I tried to give her the details.
But I couldn’t, I didn’t know what I was describing. It wasn’t merely a fun filled day of hot sex with a random stranger. But what exactly was it?
I’d gone to bed that night more puzzled than before and I hadn’t slept a wink. Just thinking about how it had felt when I touched him sent tingles through every part of my body to my fingertips.
My week had continued as it normally would except for the fact that I kind of plodded through my shifts at the small bookstore I worked at. My mind clearly elsewhere. I had thought back to that day a million times trying to figure out what it all meant.
***
I had woken to an unfamiliar, but not unpleasant smell. Soap, sex, a little bit if spice and man. My mind had been running on overtime reminding me where I was and what that delicious smell was. I had kept my eyes closed while I took it all in and I thought about the hours leading up to my afternoon nap.
I had remembered the hot, intimate, crazy sex we’d had in every corner of his huge apartment. I had remembered the pleasure, the intensity and willingness to be with a man who’d I’d known for only a few hours. I’d remembered the ease of being with him, the overwhelming feeling to nurture him when the damn cat had pounced and clawed his skin, then the immense urge to feel him inside me only a split second later.
I had known then that the whole thing was strange, it wasn’t a predicament I’d normally find myself in, but I had really wanted it to be OK. I had really wanted to figure out what the crazy attraction was all about. Feelings like those were not normal.
As I had lain there against his body, pretending to still be sleeping, I had given myself a pep talk. The pompoms had been brought out in full force. I, Bella Swan, could do this had been chanted a few times in my head.
I’d stretched a little, pressing my body against his long lean torso before opening my eyes to see what waited for me.
As soon as I’d laid my eyes on him I had pushed myself away, the lack of contact had registered immediately.
“Shit.” The word had spilled out before I could stop it. Maybe I couldn’t do this. I wasn’t ‘that’ kind of girl.
OK, pompoms back out and the pep talk had continued… you CAN do this Bella. It’s OK. Nothing to be ashamed of. Just talk to him.
That’s when I’d started rambling, going on about the whole thing being awkward and staying for dinner and all kinds of shit. I’d had no idea what I was doing. I’d just needed to desperately relax.
I’d slowly turned my head back towards him and peered through one eye, then two and that was it, the church giggles had started, effectively hiding my nervousness. It had really not been the appropriate time to laugh, but once I’d gotten a good look at that man's hair! When I’d seen him on the train I’d been quite perplexed by the ultra neat way his hair was perfectly styled into some overgrown bouffant. But it had suited him. It worked.
But there it was, sticking up in every direction possible. It was 50% hilarious and 50% pure hot sex.
While explaining the meaning behind my laughter I hadn’t been able to stop myself from reaching out and touching him, attempting to smooth the unruly hair back into some sort of order. I had felt all the nervous tension and awkwardness leave my body as I had once again made contact with him.
He’d immediately responded to my touch, his hand had found my breast once again and he had rolled towards me planting a chaste kiss on my lips. My skin had felt on fire with the contact, yet with the burn came the chills. One kiss had led to another and as his lips and hands had become frantic, he’d pulled me towards him holding me tight.
That’s when I felt it.
Felt his arousal pressing against my belly.
That’s when I’d realized what I was doing and made the drastic switch to “I can’t do this”.
I’d rambled off some excuse, he’d begged me to stay and talk about it. I’d rambled off more excuses, slipped into his bathroom to dress then geared myself up to leave.
But there was a tiny part of me that couldn’t just give in and forget it all. Staring at myself in the mirror I had come to the conclusion that giving myself some time to think about it would answer all the questions swimming in my head.
Jotting my number down on a scrap of paper from my purse, I’d made my way out into the living room. He’d begged me to stay once again, his voice getting more anxious as he spoke, but I’d stuck to my plan. Pushing the paper into his hand I’d reached up to place what I knew was the last kiss we’d ever share on his chin then I’d turned and left.
And didn't look back.
***
Now as I stood behind the counter busying myself with the stock order, I found myself thinking it over once again. I was no closer to knowing what I wanted.
I’d left it in his hands though. I no longer felt like it was my choice to make. It was his choice now and I would accept the outcome.
He’d done as I’d asked and hadn’t contacted me that week, but I’m sure by now he’d forgotten about that day. Or at least placed it in his ‘Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt’ folder.
I’d file it away there, too. That was my resolve.
As I typed the book order into the antiquated computer I heard the bells tied to the door handle ring and looked up to find myself staring straight into the same green eyes that had captivated me a week ago.
“Bella.” Edward acknowledged with a slight nod of his head.
After hearing the gravelly sex of his voice, the resolve I’d had left and the feelings of lust came flooding back.
I was toast.
Monday, December 21, 2009
572 - The Orginal One Shot posted for the Twific Indie - First Time Writers Challenge
-->
It was day 572 without any kind of action in my nether regions.
572 days without sex.
That’s 572 days without lack of trying.
It wasn’t like I couldn’t normally get some if I wanted to, it was just a certain part of me didn’t feel the need to perform. I wanted it so desperately, I was ready for it. Eddie Jr… not so much.
572 days ago I walked in on my wife riding, for lack of a better term, my best friend in our bed.
My cock then went into a deep depression.
How Limpward came about...
So... after a Facebook wall-to-wall joke about the different Edward's we read about in the fanfic world, my friend Lindi and I started a list of funny/odd/gross Edward's we'd like (or possibly not like, but the thought is funny) to see.
Siamesewards, Paedoward, Transgenderward, Dwarfward and Leprosward were a few that came to mind... and crazy as it is, I think a few have been written! Yikes! So wrong on so many levels. Anywho....
Limpward was another suggestion. I thought that was the WORST thing we could bestow on Edward The Fan-Freaking-Tastic so I started to write a little ditty about him. This was WAY back in April '09.
I needed to get my butt into gear and finish the story as I had some funny ideas in my head, then the Twific Indie Awards went ahead and threw a "First Time Writers Challenge". That was the kick I needed and I completed my one shot in time to enter the contest.
After a drunken day out in York on a trip home to the motherland, I received a text telling me I'd won the runner-up spot on the popular vote! Wahoo... *big old pat on the back*...
Many of the wonderful peeps that reviewed asked me if I'd continue the story. I think I will. In fact, I know I will. My one stipulation... I want to get three or four chapters under my belt before I post so that I won't ever feel like I'm leaving anyone (including myself and Limpward) hanging - pun intended, I think.
So... watch this space and in the New Year, Limpward will be back for more.
The original one shot is posted in the post below (or I guess above)... enjoy!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
